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2003-01-09 03:52:25 (UTC)

Man Of The Decade

Now its time for me to display my pompous attitude and
name Pauls Man Of The Decade.

This decade's winner is actually only chosen because i
believe he is the smartest person ever to walk on earth
for the last ten years. The man is Bill Watterson.

For those of you who don't know, he is the man behind
the genius of the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes".

Don't attribute any of this to nonsense. I am dead
serious. The man is so smart and makes his
intelligence known throughout his comics. I would not
even dare to call them comics, they are more like short
essays on philosophy and theology. The comics are so
brilliant its amazing. His interpretation of things through
the eyes of an arrogant, brilliant, and naive child and his
sage-like, pet tiger are outstanding. Its so interesting
that he chose those particular names as well. Calvin
was named after a sixteenth century theologian who
believed in predestination. He was also one of the
founding fathers of the very, very, early almost child like
idea of Socialism. Hobbes is named after a
seventeenth philosopher who had a dim view of human
nature and actually started the long dead idea of
naturalization. The idea that humans should not be on
the planet and it belonged to animals. Ironic that a
human would discover the idea. Well, who else would?

Reading Calvin and Hobbes has broadened my
outlook on life. Not just the bullshit that everyone tells
you life is about, but what life is really made of. If that
makes any sense. The comics are much better and me
copying them down is a poor excuse, but i seriously
advise picking up one of his many books. They are
outstanding and not to mention THE funniest comics i
have ever read...ever.
This man is a genius....brilliant.

This one time i read an art criticism book my mother
gave me that was an avalanche of politically correct,
New Age gibberish, academic jargon and art-speak.
The writing so annoyed me that i asked my mother to
read one page of it and demand she take it back
because i thought she wasted her money. It was a
coincedence that that same day i came across this
particular Calvin and Hobbes strip because it seemed
that Bill Watterson had read the exact same book and
thought the exact same things that i did. Since i can't
scan the strip and put it on here i thought i would just
write the dialog:

CALVIN: I used to hate writing assignments, but now i
enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to
inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit
clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an
intimidating and impenetrable fog! (to Hobbes) Want to
see my book report?

HOBBES: (reading the title) "The dynamics of interbeing
and monological imperatives in 'Dick and Jane' : A
study in psychic transrelational gender modes."

CALVIN: Academia, here i come!


Here is another one that also helped me demonstrate
my loathful feeling towards Pop Psychobabble:


CALVIN: Nothing i do is my fault. My family is
dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me!
Consequently, I'm not self-actualized! My behavior is
addictive functioning in a disease of toxic
codependency! I need holistic healing and wellness
before i'll accept and responsiblity for my actions!

HOBBES: One of us needs to stick his head in a bucket
of ice water.

CALVIN: I love the culture of victimhood.

Ok thats it for now. Ummmmmmm go listen to Like A
Prayer by Madonna. Its a good song. And try and get
one of Watterson's books. I strongly advise you.

Take care of others, and yourselves.



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