Stephanie

Is My BoyFriend Cheating?!?

Im getting the feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me.
or hes found someone else he wants to be with and he doesnt
know how to tell me. and it kills me. He ALWAYS talks about
this girl *April*. I was talking to him about my birthday,
and he was like yea *Aprils* birthday is coming up to. Im
sorry but i dont want to hear bout some girl that i dont
even know. He always takes her home too, yesterday i called
him and he talked to me a little bit, and then once
*Jessica* got out of the car, he was like let me call you
back i have to take *April* home. *April April April* thats
all he ever talks about anymore. i dont see him the same
way as i used to, maybe its because i am having these
assumptions, but still... hes given me no other choice but
to think this way. How would you feel if your
boyfriend/girlfriend came home and for a month straight
talked about nothing but some girl. and things that concern
her. like she was his?! *Nick* says he doesnt think that he
would do something like that to me.. but *nick* doesnt make
everything right. yes i know this means that i dont trust
him as well. but you know hes given me no other choice. and
he hasnt trusted me at all. just because of some things i
did in the past he doesnt trust me. if he didnt trust me
then why the fuck would he date me. it just doesnt make any
sense. i feel like i hate it, but i know you cant just stop
loving someone.. but i am very pissed off at him. i cried
all yesterday when i got home, and this morning. and i have
pictures today.. they are going to be WAY ugly! i dont
think im goin to take them, i'll prolly take them on make-
up day. if me and my boyfriend did break up, i wouldnt just be
losing my boyfriend, id be losing my best friend. and that
really scares me, being as i dont have that many friends
here. actually i dont have any friends here. i talk to
people at school, but i want more than that. Doesnt he see
that this is killing me?! I love my boyfriend.. does that
have ANY meaning to it anymore...?? does it say anything?
these are the things that i have to figure out.. do i even
want to be with him anymore? Man ive given
that boy EVERYTHING! i gave up everything to be with him. I
went through 8 months of people bitching at me about not
dating him. losing friends that i had, the only ones i
really had down here. for what? to find out that i feel hes
cheating on me? was that in the least worth it?? i just
dont know what to think... if he is cheating
on me, then i lose everything.. my boyfriend, and my best
friend...ahhhhhhh i hate this....