Morgaine Raven

Decisions of the Night
2003-01-08 18:36:20 (UTC)

What a move

I moved back to the mountains and have been here for a
while.
Things between John and I...my cousin and I...everything
and I....eh yeah pretty much WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA lately, so
Im not even going to go there because its not worth it
right now, there are much more important things to go into.

Christmas...Sucked I hate the holidays and one of my old
regulars in TX committed suicide the day before christmas.
I think the highlight of my christmas was going to see
Signs with my cousin christmas night, was nice to have
down time with just him. We were freezing after but it was
fun.

New Years...I think that falls under the things we just
wont go into...but for a quick brief of it...I broke a
knuckle on a tree, I was pissed and overwhelmed with so
many things (which I will get into later) and took it out
on an oak tree and the cement...I wanted to punch my
cousin in the nose, however it was for multiple reasons
that I actually punched the things I did. Not just because
he pissed me off.

I havent said much about myself in here, but I have a
biological mother whom I hadnt talked to or heard from in
quite some time (14 years) and a little sister as well. I
finally got in contact with them, it was traumatic to me,
I felt like none of it was real, then when reality sank in
I freaked, she left me on purpose, knew what she was doing
and kept my siblings from me. Intentionally. Talk about
feeling abandoned and not worth a shit to the woman who
bore you. AH!!!!!! drive me up the walls. Yes I have major
issues thanks to her never beeing around for those 14
years. Many thanks to John for letting me bawl on his
shoulder that night.

My Raiders are doing well this year, very proud of them :)

Lately the song When Im Gone by 3 doors Down has hit my
heart so heavily, Being a soldier I guess it would. I love
this country and I love the rights given to me here. I
think a lot of people take it for granted.

Im going to make another entry that might be one of my
last that way I can get all that I have left unsaid out
and open. I'll do that a little later today.

~Morgaine





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