Faerie Onyx

Tis The Faerie
2003-01-08 04:56:09 (UTC)

please help me...

i went through the whole drawer... nothing was sharp
enough to make a scratch... I went through the knife
block... Finally I found a blade sharp enough. I cut for
about an inch and a half from my wrist to my wrist... The
blood is still coming and my wrist hurts... i didn't stop
until I remembered... January is my bad month... I don't
know what to do, I really don't. i'm going to go read jane
eyre now... i wanted to talk to sonny on the phone... he'd
make me feel better, but he's on his other computer so i
can't. i was trying to type with both hands, but it didn't
work... my left hand won't move... so i'm just typing with
one.

i thought i was cured... what's so wrong with january?
why can't i go through a january without cutting?
nevermind... last january i didn't cut... i didn't want to
cut. i cried a lot, but i didn't have a reason to cut.
mike was there for me except when he was getting high. oh
god my hand's shaking... i'm so scared, what if my parents
find out? i don't want to go to tucker pavillion again.
i'd have to be away from sonny then. please help me...
please... i don't know what to do!

sonny i need you... i need you now... but you're not there
when i need you...




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