Theleysgirl

WOES OF A WOMAN
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2003-01-07 19:48:49 (UTC)

RESOLUTIONS

I'm not the type of person who makes New years
Resolutions, but gosh, I gotta at least start off
something this year. Like duhhhh...new years gone
past...still, maybe I need to focus on building good clean
thoughts, have a plan, maybe have a back-up plan too..
just incase. Plan for what?. Oh just plan my life so that
it can be meaningful..lolz. I am so pathetic aye!!

Anyway, todays kinda cold. The suns shining outside so I
am gonna go out and enjoy the day. Today I've also decided
that I am going to be a somebody!. Chuck out my low self
esteem...look ahead...heads up to the horizon and picture
myself a somebody.Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh!!. Its a start at
least..right??.

Ok, so I am yapping jibberish..lol. Whats with me today. I
don't know. I'm just not feeling myself. Have this chronic
cough which doesn't seem to wanna go away...my sinus's are
behaving themselves for now..good for me!.

I just read some entries in some peoples journals and I
think to myself...how awesome this is..because it gives me
an insight into how other people are...how they think and
mostly how they feel. Gives me a proper understanding of
how to deal with some people I know who have similar
problems. And most importantly, I thought just how
fantastic it is to read about teenagers views on anything
and everything!. Whoever thought about this online journal
thing is a genius. I have 3 children. 12, 11 and 10 years
old. Yeah..my friends laughingly called me a baby factory
because I had kids all in one row...year after year. Heck,
I finally learned about Birth control..so duhhhhh!.Reading
through teenagers journals gives me an insight into how I
should deal with my kids when they turn into teenagers. I
read this 15 year old girls journal about how sexually
active she is (She wants to fuck almost
everyday...gawddddd!! and she's only 15 years old!) and
how she's had threesomes already and think to
myself...YIKES!!...will my kids turn out this way too?. I
want to be there for them...and I do not want them to hate
me or to be sexually active when they turn 15 years...I
feel thats too young and I believe I am entitled to my own
opinion..(so butt out if you disagree). I'd also hate for
my kids to be gay...not that I hate gays...no..no..I don't
hate gays, I just don't want my kids to be gay. I want
them to get married, have kids and a good job. Like I said
I am entitled to my own opinions. Really, I do not hate
gays, I just don't want my kids to be segregated and
picked upon because of their sexuality. Its too much of a
hassle because people can be so mean. I don't want to run
around in the future telling Gay Haters to FUCK OFF just
coz I feel the need to protect. I know..I know..I probably
won't have a choice but to accept the fact if it happens,
and that I can't be around to protect my kids all
throughout their life, but I can't help it!! I am a mother
and I have instincts!!.

Anyway, I'm listerning to Josh Grobans latest
CD...goshhhh..he has this amazing voice. I could listern
to him all day. if you have the chance..try listerning to
this one song of his in particular..."TO WHERE YOU
ARE"...I tell you, its to die for!!. I think of my mum
everytime I hear this song. Gosh I miss my mum. She died
of Cancer last June (2002). Only 54 years old. Too young
to die, but she fought a hard battle. I love my mum..I
miss her, and I think I feel so sad right
now...ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!.

Must go now..toodles.


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