I want Alan's Body

2/13/01- I am sad right now..

2/13/01- I am sad right now because I miss my old home.
See my daddy is in the army and he is recruiting in south
FL.We moved here about a month and sumtin ago. I really
miss my friends over in GA. I left and like three guys I
liked told me they liked me too after I moved here. I am
really upset that they told me now! I am also upset because
I am too shy to tell this guy at the school I go to that I
like him. His name is Robert. My grandma is dying of
cancer, my great grandma died about last year, my two
hamsters (Pickles Vinegar) died before I left GA. My fish
Long Skinny Weiner Thing died too. I am a 14f and I am in
the 9th grade. I went to a college prep school and now I am
in a drop out school in Florida. I dont really fit in
because I am so proper since I have only gone to army type
schools. Here I am exposed to so many drugs and pregnant
peeps. I dont do drugs so my "friends" dont feel
comfortable when I am around. A lot of peeps I know dont
like hanging around me because I am so much higher level
than them even though I dont talk that way. There arent
that many white guys at this school(I'm white) not that I
wouldnt mind a diff. race it's just that most different
raced guys are like ewwwwwwwwww white girl. So I am kind of
stuck there. Robert is like hispanic or sumtin. He is a
capricorn and I am a virgo. I feel like a loser at this
school and the guys that are here arent even that cute, not
that I am all of that or n e thing but still. I dont like
myself to much because I remind myself of a guy. I am not
fat, I have greenish brown eyes, I am bout 5'6, I have
short brown hair. I am very plain looking and u can tell
god didn't spend too much time on me. But its ok. I am not
pretty but I am ookk. I am taking Japanese and I hate it so
much but since I am a magnet program for language I got to
take it. I wish that I could die sometimes. I am constantly
finding that I am the only person I can trust even though I
have lots of new "friends" here I dont trust them. They
have this weirdness about them and I always think someone
is out to get me. When I see Robert I get so scerd I like
start running. See I am kind of outgoing but not at all
when it comes to guys. I dunno. I just wish there was
someone I could confide in besides my cat Muffin, my dog
Max, and Amy (my friend in PA). See my other friends in GA
and here I can confide in but I cant ensure that they will
keep it to themselves. Some of my "friends" act like ewww y
is she telln me , I dont care that is your prob. not mine.
So I just have a lot of problems here.