Green Leef Turning Gold
2001-09-07 17:04:55 (UTC)

I must be on crack....

What the hell did I think I was doing? Did I think that
maybe this time I could help and save someone? Someone who
is practically already dead? Who do I think I am? Did
helping this person make me believe it would make up for
those already dead, those it was too late to save. Annette
is dead. Julio is dead too. Let it go. Den is dead. THEY
ARE ALL DEAD! And no amount of stupidity on my part will
bring them back or save anyone else from their fate.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, you
cannot extend a hand of friendship to someone who will
throw it back in your face. And thats just how it is. Thats
just how it goes. And nothing will change that. Keep saying
that and perhaps you will convince yourself. Someday if I
keep saying that maybe I won't get involved with the "next"
one, because there always is another. And maybe just maybe
I will do what I am really supposed to be doing. Because
this is just counter productive, I am just avoiding my

Reality Sucks.