Mrs_Goodbar28

Lyrics of a Soul
2003-01-06 21:16:11 (UTC)

He Never Fails to Amaze Me

HUHHHH!!!! Once again, he has managed to single-
handedly disrupt the flow of my life. Okay, so I've been
home now for two weeks now and this break has been the most
interesting of them yet. I succeeded as I started out
doing in terms of giving my Romantic Mishap a taste of his
own medicine by not responding to his e-mail. So, I'll
come around back to that. I had a cool Christmas, even
though I got next to nothing, I got a Borders gift
certificate and a movie, so, whutever. I spoiled everyone
else and ran my credit card bill up the river, but for some
reason I'm not phased. Well, things went pretty uneventful
until the 29th, when I went with Destiny to see Nelly and
the St. Lunatics, LL Cool J (my new baby-daddy), Musiq, Dru
Hill, B2K (whom I would have no problem molesting), and
many others at the Pepsi Jam. It was a lot of fun,
screaming along with the others in the crowd. I just wish
we were closer to the stage because I could have sworn LL
was talkin' to me with his tongue!
Then came New Year's Eve! I was lookin' forward to a
not so eventful party at the Cheerful One's sister's house,
since I wouldn't know too many of those attending.
However, shortly after I got there, I was informed that the
Romantic Mishap might make an appearance since word had
gotten to him about the party. I freaked for a moment b/c
I was running strong without seeing/talking to him, b/c
it's once I see him that I trip up on my peace of mind. He
just confuses things, and the last time I saw him, I told
him that if I didn't hear from him, that would be it
between us. It just pissed me off how when he changes his
mind, that's all that needs to be said, like he's the
fuckin' Man or somethin'. No, fuck that! So, yeah, I felt
dissed and I had managed not to say a word to him for all
this time and I was goin' to keep it up until I heard he
might be coming to the party. I kept hoping he wouldn't
come, but an itty bitty part of me did want to see him.
So, the nite is eventful after all. Besides the
arrival of mine and the Cheerful One's mutual friends, her
sister's crazy guests made it all more fun. I only drank a
little this time because I wanted to be sober enough to see
everyone who came in, even the Romantic Mishap. And
shortly after midnight, sure enough, he came in. He slyly
sauntered over to me and gave me a half hug because he saw
the look on my face. I was quite stern with him for the
rest of the nite. In spite of that, him and his friends,
especially Dark Chocolate, had a good time dancing and
makin' fools of themselves. I kept light flirtatious
conversation with Dark Chocolate because he was just
lookin' so delicious. The Romantic Mishap was lookin'
extra sexy too, but I resisted well enough. I ended up
dancing with both of them of course and had a really good
time doing it, but whut frustrated me was the Romantic
Mishap's behavior.
Once again, he acted as if he did nothing wrong and I
was acting crazy b/c I could remeber this all. So, I spat
at him with bitter words and short remarks and he asked me
for a hug goodbye and I gave him one, but then he asked for
another, and I said, "I already gave you one." I know I
must be really difficult at times, but at this point, I
feel like the only way I can get over stuff is by talkin it
out and feeling repaired. I remember everything when it
comes to someone hurting me, so, the whole issue with the
Angry One is still current and fresh on my mind. In the
meantime, I spoke less and less with the Angry One; I feel
it's more because now when we talk, we have nothing to say
to eachother, it's just dead air and I hate being on the
phone like that. So we didn't talk too much because she
was only home for four days and I didn't see her once and
only talked to her twice. It's not just me though, I feel
like something's up with her if she no longer has anything
to say to me, it's awkward between us again, like it was
when she and the Romantic Mishap started goin' out. So, I
haven't heard from her since and I want to say something,
but I don't know what to say.
So, a few days later, I decided to tell him my issues
in an e-mail. I just got his response today and of course,
he's turned the situation completely around to fit him as
the victim of the situation, which excuses him from takin
any blame or responsibility. Once again, he confuses
things. He evades all of my questions and brings up his
own issues instead of addressing the ones at hand. I
laughed and screamed after reading all he had to say and
responded promptly, and I'm wonderin' if I'll ever squeeze
one single apology from him. Until next time, live, love,
life!




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