enter my train of thought
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2003-01-06 19:49:47 (UTC)

funny stuff

ok after my hatred entry last time, i'm gonna go for
something amusing. i thought this forward was mighty
amusing - stupid people make me laugh!

"In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's
the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer BreadPudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot 's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could
do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other
(now somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk
about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not
enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the
parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this
happening somewhere?)

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