Guava

We'll see...

Ok, last night John got in a bit of trouble with some road
rage. He's fine, but his car got scratched up a bit. I did
something very forward for me, I called him on my lunch
break.

He sent a long e-mail last night telling me and Jay all
about what happened yesterday. I had to call him and see if
he was doing better. I replied to his e-mail and actually
got lengthy. The thing is I told him some stuff in the
e-mail that I haven't told Jay or Mina, my two best friends
in the whole world that I tell everything. I just think
that if I told them they'd freak. At least I know Jay
would. Mina might understand on some level...she's a very
now kinda chica. Gotta love her to death (as a friend).

Right now I'm waiting for John to reply to my e-mail. I
made a joke at the end about wither or not to wear a shirt
on Saturday so we'll see how awake his is or was when he
read the e-mail.

The wierdest thing was that I just kept typing away and
wrote a whole novel. That is totally unlike me! The cool
thing is that he was complaining about never having had a
girlfriend so I had to tell him that I was pretty much in
the same boat only having had one boyfriend in 21 years.
Feel free to laugh all you want, but I attribute it all to
that fact that I'm a total introvert. I get really shy
around guys I don't know or guys I like. There are times I
just don't know how to act around John because I like him.

I hope he gets the picture that I like him. I'm pretty sure
he should know by now.

I get to see him tomorrow night! He, me and Tom are all
meeting at Jay's house after dinner. I just need to figure
out what to wear tomorrow that he hasn't seen me in and I
actually look good in.

I thought about wearing a dress or skirt, but I know that
Jay would say something about it. He already asked me if I
did my nails special for "someone." I know he was talking
about John. I didn't do my nails for John, but I'm sure Jay
would assume I wore a skirt or dress for John, even if I
didn't.

I just hope it's warm tomorrow so I can atleast wear shorts.
That would mean I'd have to shave tomorrow. I'm already
going to have to dry my hair and make myself look
presentable. I may not have time for breakfast too in the
morning. We'll see I guess...

I figure it will be another hour before John e-mails me. I
know he left Jay's house because Jay sent out an e-mail
about tomorrow to me, John and Tom.

I hope he e-mails me tonight. He might just wait and talk
to me tomorrow or something. I hope we can talk in person
about what I said in my e-mail and about his thoughts from
his e-mail. We talked a bit about the incident with another
car he had last night, but that was about it. We both had
to get back to work quickly so we didn't talk long. I was
proud that I got the courage to call him. The only other
time I called him I got is vm.

It would be nice if he were driving on Saturday and Jay's
friend who's a girl came along too. That way John and I
could actually talk some. I have a feeling we'll find time
to talk at one of the clubs or something.

He was talking about a guy he sort of knew that committed
suicide. I sent him back an e-mail about how I tried to
really do it once. That was like 5 months ago after my
shitty year. The thing is I haven't told Jay or Mina about
it. I'm still not sure why I even told John. As long as he
responds tonight and we talk more before I leave I'll be
happy.

I found a penny heads up today in the bathroom at work. I'm
hoping that it's a sign. Also last night I blew on the
seeds of a flower for good luck and made a wish. I've heard
it can make your wish come true.

I acted like a 15 year old today and wrote John's name in
little hearts with flowers around it. It felt good to be a
giggly little girl!

I totally like, like him!