Jenn

Randomness
Ad 0:
2003-01-05 23:35:21 (UTC)

You did not use me

I feel used. Everyday, I wonder what I did that for? For
love?? For truth or just to do it?. Why must everything I
do be for someone else? I hate the way I do it. I cant help
it. I do things to make other people happy...Not me...Im
not happy, I wish someone would be there to make me smile.
I joke around, its only to cover this frown. I wish you
would come around, and say all those words. But its only a
dream...I wish it would stay. If you came back around,
Heaven would fall upon the world. If you came back to me, I
would not make the same mistake...I would act like me...not
cover who I really am..you thought I was someone I wasnt..I
changed because I was afraid. Now I realize that if you
dont like me for me, its not my fault. But if you dont like
the mask I wear, its it my fault. I want to rip this mask
off like it is on fire, I want to take it off like it is
burning my skin. It is burning my skin. Its starting to
melt into my soul and I want it out. I want to be myself.
Not the person I am now.. fake smile, fake laugh, no
fun...its not right. I want to smile for you. no one made
me smile like you did..if I could ask you for one thing..it
would be the chance to show you who I really am. Im sorry
and I appologize for any pain I may have caused you.. I
have made you my enemy, but now I need you as my friend.
and I have been wrong for so long not to ask for your
forgiveness. and if youu dont accept, ill understand..but I
need to make amends. Its hard for me to say this, but Ive
been going through some changes. Im sorry, but I have been
blaming you for the turmoil beneith my skin. Im sorry...I
blamed you. Im on my knees asking for forgiveness.


Ad:1
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here