Loveridden

Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
2003-01-05 22:38:16 (UTC)

No matter where he goes I'll be thinking of him...

I feel unsettled with the way I feel. What am I supposed
to be feeling right now??

I really DO like V. A LOT. He makes me happy when he's
with me. I think he's trying to make me happy. This morning
I got pissed 'cause he basically woke me up and wanted to
head down to his buddy's to watch the game. Of course he
made me coffee and apologized, telling me football will be
over in two weeks. But it's just that EVERY WEEKEND it's
the same thing and I'd like to spend some time during the
day just hanging out in bed. I didn't freak out or
anything, but he said he knew I was pissed off. Then he
asked if I'd like to get together tonight, and all I said
was "Call me". He said he'd like to go see a movie & he'll
treat me to dinner at this place we both really like. So I
told him that sounded good. So he'll call me. AFTER THE
GAME.

I'm being a bitch. I KNOW I am. And you know WHY??????
Because I can't seem to get over the idea that no one will
ever be good enough!!! AND I WAS FINE....until I saw D. I
was FINE. Then he had to show up and be all cute and put
his number in my phone and set me up for feeling all
confused again and even BOTHERING to compare V to him.

V is a good one. He treats me well. He keeps his word. He
makes me happy. He gives me respect.

I just get confused.

~ love ridden




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