Wretched Pleasures

Chronicles of a Tortured Soul
2001-09-07 00:07:55 (UTC)

Nothing interesting or new

As I sit here, I realize how boring today is. Nothing has
gotten better, why would it? This is me, we are talking
about, you know. Hatred is increasing toward me, or at
least extreme discontent. Why though? What am I doing
wrong? Is there anything I am doing wrong at all?
Everything is increasing, paranoia, questions, sadness,
everything is getting more and more. I ask myself, "Why at
all do I care?" I don't know. I can't stand anything
anymore, I don't see anything as most people do. Letters
and numbers are nothing more than scribbled lines in a
symbolic pattern, Nothing is meaningful, as previously
stated in my last few diary entries. We just exist. We're
born, we learn survival, we use survival, we breed, we
die. That is it, that is all it should be, none of these
added in things, such as corporate offices, lawyers, and
judicial system. No control, no government, we don't need
it. We don't need a UN, we don't need money, we don't
need credit cards, we don't need vehicles, stores, and
extravagant houses. Fuck all of it, it should all be
destroyed. We are merely polluting the earth, quickening
our extinction. I am sure all of the human race wants to
die off quicker. Why do I always go on these rants? I
always start with something, and go into something else. I
don't know. Never write anything until after 10PM, or else
it won't be at it's best. Always listen to music to calm
yourself when doing anything, or else you will tense up and
you will never get it done as well as possible. I don't
know, more and more of my mind is being deteriorated by
it's own intelligence, or maybe I am completely stupid, and
I just think all of these things up and truly believe they
are real, just like any other mental breakdown patient. Oh
well....


Wretched Pleasures