Dookie

Mind of a Wierdo
2001-09-06 22:27:40 (UTC)

... And the Grief continues ....

Today wasn't very interesting. Same ol' thing. Woke up,
took a shower, got ready for school, picked up Daria and
Chris, got to school, and the rest goes on. I guess the
only thing that changed was that there was noone there to
"phsycally" beat on me. (I think I spelled that wrong....
it doesn't look right.) Now that is goin to bother me for
the rest of my day. DAMN IT!!!! Well for the mean time I
will move on. The ride home with Chris bothered me. I said
one thing and Chris started gettin mad at me. All I said
was that I wasn't school spirited and he starts tellin me
that I should join something or something like that. (I
dont want to remember.) I just said that they dont have
what I would be interested in and he asked me what I would
be interested in. I mean I would have told him but it made
me feel as though I would be wasting my breath since I have
told him twice now. He just seems to be forgetting
everything about me. The things I have said, the things I
like to do. According to our chat on the bus .. I would
only be interested in sleeping all day. (I dont kno if I
could ever tell him that things like that are what make me
loose my self-confidence.) It makes me feel less about
myself because it makes me feel as though all I am is one
lazy piece of shnit. Well I didnt get off at the church
with him because it seemed as though he was mad at me cause
he didnt even say bye and he was playing with his lil
walkie talkie anyway. So I got off at my regular stop and
walked home. When I got home I was kinda of relieved that I
"acutally" made it. Went and got a glass of ice tea and
started thinking about what I would make for dinner. I
figured things could get better from that point on. Till I
checked my voice mail on my cellphone. My mom left me a
message so I called her back. she told me she was picking
me up at 3:30 and I didn't kno why so I asked her. She said
I was goin to counciling with her. My jaw dropped. I told
her I couldn't go and that I didnt want to. I couldnt' go
because I had to make dinner (still do by the way) and I
told her I never want to see a councelor. She told me it
would be to my benefit .... that the medication the give
you will help me out. I told her no. I NEVER WANT TO SEE A
DAMN COUNCELOR. I have lived this far I can live on further
without a shrink. Grrrrr......... Well right now I am not
really in the best of moods. I will get better though. For
now ........ till later ..............




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