justme

A new day............

well, i started a diet today, bought some slimfast
lastnight, i honestly dont understand how milk and
chocolate powder is going to help me lose weight, but, hey
ill try anything once.LOL couple days ago i started
walking, so its not like im not moving..
i have to cut out the candy, thats going to be hard, so
far so good though, usually i have a hoagie for lunch, but
today i had a glass of slimfast, nothing else, and i wont
eat till 5 pm, i have an hour to go and im starving, but, i
can do it, one day at a time..
I have to keep reminding myself, that im doing this for
me, not for Jeff, or anyone else...
When i am walking i catch myself looking at me in windows,
i hate what i see, its disgusting.:( i know they say we are
harder on ourselves, i guess thats true..LOL
ive tried so hard in the past to lose, i have to do it
this time..
The other day i bent down to tie Taylor's shoe, and i
couldnt get back up.:( i had to grab hold of the garbage
can to get up, i was so embaressed, that shouldnt have
happened.:( and i know what people think when they see me,
they dont give me a chance, they judge me from the outside,
if they could only see whats inside, they would know im a
good person, i have feelings and dreams, and i love....
Ive been thinking about Jeff and why i love him, and i
really dont know, i cant come up with any reasons, yet, i
know there is a reason i feel the way i do about him, i
guess i need to think about it some more, but, i should be
able to have an answer immediately if it is love, man, this
is so hard.:( I do love him, and i dont know why.:( ill
keep thinking though............