My Reality
Ad 2:
2003-01-05 04:15:41 (UTC)

What do i really think?

Relationships, they come and go, and thus far i ahve been
under the impression that either you date someone under
the impression that one day you will break up, well its
either that or you get fucking married, so why go into a
relationship with the preconceived notion that things wont
work out...i mean who says all long distance relationships
fail, who says its so fucking hard that it ruins your life
who says that its just never going to end up like you
wanted it to...
obviously, i have just lost josh, he said goodbye and
thats that, i guess, i mean this is the fourth time taht
this has happened so who the hell knows, but im not
entirely sure i know what the deal is, it was just so left
feild that im still a lil stunned...i mean one day we were
talking about being together and going out and doing stuff
with each other and the next day, bam...that was it, it
was over....
well, i am at a point now where i am looking at things
with him and i am looking at dating in general and trying
to piece things together to make sense....
one, i can see where he is coming from not wanting to
start somethign if we just have to end it in six months
when he leaves, bc he wont stand for a long distance
two, i get that he has been hurt in a long distance
relationship and that he doesnt want to relive that
three, there is nothing that says that we will be
perfectly happy if we dated for the next six months, it
could be pure hell, but in my opinion its worth it
four, i shouldnt have to beg him to want to be with me,
either he does or he doesnt, there are guys in this world
who envy him bc he has all of my attention, i can at least
acknowledge that he isnt the only man who cares for me

well basically i could go on and on about all of the
things i have been thinking, the list could fill a room,
by i'll make it short and sweet, i think that if you care
about someone you should stick it out and be wtih them if
it makes you happy, i mean when i found out my grandmother
was dying of cancer i didnt say well fuck it shes gone in
six months im done wtih her...hell no, i savored every
moment i was given, i really tried to make the most of the
time i had with her, basically thats what i feel for this
situation he has six good months to be with me and i with
him, i think that it could be really wonderful, why not
just take advantage of this time be together be happy and
that be it, if we are to be together and really love each
other than we can always meet back up whent hings work
out, im just saying give it a chance, i have never been
happier with someone in my entire life, i have never cared
for someone like this and i ahve never wanted to be with
someone like this, i would change nothing about him and i
wish him the best of luck, i honestly think the world of
him even though he has broken my heart, i have nothing bad
to say about him and i really want him to be happy with
whatever he does or with whomever he finds in life...i
think that says something, dont you?