my heart hurts right now.
i wish there was something anyone could say or do, but
quite frankly there isn't. you know when you feel like
everybody hates you? well i'm starting to see that feeling
as a common occurrence. and its weird coz i KNOW not
everyone hates me, but when people do, it's so painful.
my parents are divorcing as i think i told you. and they
have been since 19th may, my 13th birthday, so i'm kinda
learning to adjust, but things keep cropping up and i'm
starting to seriously, deeply, hate my father. not just
we found out today that he bought his 21-year-old typist
lover, strangely named vanessa, an £800 computer 2 days
before my own birthday, the time when he was always getting
at my mother for spending enough money to keep us 5 kids
going. i can't begin to describe how much i hated him for
doing that shit to us. he hasn't even rung us from his 2-
week holiday with vanessa to spain, not even to ask my
sister how her first day at secondary school went. even red
hot chili peppers' bassist, flea, did that..at the mtv
video music awards all he said after winning the
prestigious video vanguard award was, ''hi to my daughter
clara, thanks for giving me life, i hope you had a good
first day at school''. and my motherfucker father couldn't
call from a european country!
you know how i said i'd tell you about the people i'm kinda
katie:kind of swotty, but always tries to be this
individualistic person. since when is russian literature
individualistic? it's just showing off. and dead swotty
too. gets on my nerves loads. will never take my side even
though i'm her *best friend*. i'm not even sure if i like
claire:nice, but material. even if she doesn't know it.
skinny and tall and therefore classified as model material.
refuses to acknowledge models as human clothes-hangers.
kinda funny too.
jen:i don't get her anymore. used to be nice to me. i
cannot remember these times anymore.
mollie:quiet and has only said 'bitch' once in my hearing.
there are millions of people who i cannot stand but i won't
waste space with them. except for one...
jamie:the most fucking bitch on the planet. constantly name-
drops. pretends to be cool but is identical to every
other 'cool person' around ie.nirvana fan etc. cannot play
the guitar and probably never will. BITCH!
there's a song called *porcelain* by red hot chili peppers
on my stereo right now. i haven't really listened to it
before. aaawww it's so lovely. very mellow and drifty.
i might be back, but you never know.
*luv, hugz n kisses a-plenty*