Mindy aka Cutie

The life of a suicidal Teenager.
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2003-01-04 04:40:20 (UTC)

Shit to do

Alright so, today...I went to my grandfathers house. Not
the one I live with but my fathers father. It was
strange. I haven't seen them in a minute. (minute can
mean a long time...it just stands for a period of time) Me
and Jon are doing great. One thing....I might be pregnet.
Which is really scary. I don't need a baby right now. I'm
going to be a doctor and can't have a kid around while I'm
going to medical school. **********************************
Somebody wrote me a message ...something about a clone
guy...and I want to write him back...except I erased him e-
mail thingy....I'm sorry but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write me
back....****************************************************
The only thing that gets me through the days sometimes is
the messesges of incouragement I get or anything. I just
like to know that people out there, somewhere,
cares. "Suicide is not chosen, it happens when pain
exceeds resources for coping with pain." A weird thing
about Jon is. He needs to feel unwanted to show any kind
of emotion of being wanted. Do you get that? Like when I
play around like I don't really want to talk to him. Or
it's ok if he goes somewhere...and I'm like yea, well talk
to you later babe........then he gets like...man, I don't
want to get off the phone with you now. I miss you so much
baby, I want to see you. Sound weird to you? I think that
right now, I am so confused about life that I am just
rambling...but it's ok becase you are my diary and I can do
whatever the fuck I want to. Oh, and I have another weird
problem. It's strange..but hey - I like to stick syringes
in my arm. Like I'm shooting up but I'm not really
shooting up anything. I am just sticking the needle in my
arm. Is there something strangly wrong with me? Please
write back and tell me something. And this dan clone guy
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE e-mail me back
here or at my e-mail address
[email protected]


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