Mindy aka Cutie

The life of a suicidal Teenager.
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2003-01-04 04:40:20 (UTC)

Shit to do

Alright so, today...I went to my grandfathers house. Not
the one I live with but my fathers father. It was
strange. I haven't seen them in a minute. (minute can
mean a long time...it just stands for a period of time) Me
and Jon are doing great. One thing....I might be pregnet.
Which is really scary. I don't need a baby right now. I'm
going to be a doctor and can't have a kid around while I'm
going to medical school. **********************************
Somebody wrote me a message ...something about a clone
guy...and I want to write him back...except I erased him e-
mail thingy....I'm sorry but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write me
The only thing that gets me through the days sometimes is
the messesges of incouragement I get or anything. I just
like to know that people out there, somewhere,
cares. "Suicide is not chosen, it happens when pain
exceeds resources for coping with pain." A weird thing
about Jon is. He needs to feel unwanted to show any kind
of emotion of being wanted. Do you get that? Like when I
play around like I don't really want to talk to him. Or
it's ok if he goes somewhere...and I'm like yea, well talk
to you later babe........then he gets like...man, I don't
want to get off the phone with you now. I miss you so much
baby, I want to see you. Sound weird to you? I think that
right now, I am so confused about life that I am just
rambling...but it's ok becase you are my diary and I can do
whatever the fuck I want to. Oh, and I have another weird
problem. It's strange..but hey - I like to stick syringes
in my arm. Like I'm shooting up but I'm not really
shooting up anything. I am just sticking the needle in my
arm. Is there something strangly wrong with me? Please
write back and tell me something. And this dan clone guy
here or at my e-mail address
[email protected]

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