fancy

champagne supernova
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2003-01-02 16:43:07 (UTC)

clinging on to his old t-shirt

im home..and i say that with major sorrow.i miss him so
much i cant even begin to tell you. its been roughly 24
hours since ive seen my one and only and its killing me. i
swear , life without him is so unbeliveably difficult. it
seems as if someone has stolen a part of me and there is
nothing i can do to get it back except to go online and
stare at airline prices wishing so hard that i could just
buy one to go see him...for a week...a day...an hour...
love is the greatest thing that will ever happen to you.
no doubt in my mind..you realize so many things from the
other person...they make u feel things you didnt know you
were capable of feeling. i learned so much from im these
past 2 weeks. yes..we've been together for 2 years and
almost 7 months.. and i love him more each and every time i
hear his voice. but to have him look me straight in the eye
and grab my hands and tell me .."lindsay ..i love you " is
something not even the greatest author could explain. to go
to bed and wake up next to him...god it the best feeling.
becasue instead of laying in bed for an hour at night
wondering if hes seeping..if he's thinking about me..if hes
happy..ih hes sad.. instead ......im with hm..looking at
him...laying there with him and i can read what hes feeling
by his face..and his eyes. not.by picking up the phone and
calling him.
waking up..he kises me on the cheek and suddenly im
anxious to get up and spend my day with him.!! and now i
have done just that for 14 days. and im just countng the
days until i get to do it again.life is so wrong without
him. i seems useless and drab.he makes me who i am and i
thank him for it.
yesterday leaving was so hard... we went to bed at 1-ish
and woke up at 4... we drove in the rain to the
airpot..pitch black..couldnt see anything on the way
there.. we held hands and soaked up the last 15 minutes we
had together just driving to the airport...the place that
would take me away from him whether i wanted it to or not.
and belive me i didnt want it. we parked in front of my
terminal and he got out of the car in the pouring rain and
got my suitcases out of his trunk. i got out to and stood
on the curb just looking at him. looking at how beautiful he
is....how beautiful a peson he is.
he walked up to be droped my bags and gave me
the biggest hug.and he got one back. of course i was
crying...we were both upset.we said to me.."its ok...baby
its ok..i'll see you in 56 days... valentines day is right
around the corner" i looked at him and said "i hope so"
god that would be so great if i could see him next month
we kissed..hugged... and said our ."see you laters" and
let our hands slip away..the most painful feeling of it
all. i walked in to that airport soaked and crying and just
thinking what im sposed to do without him...and that is
just love him even more..and count the days until i see
him again....and that is exactly what i am doing.

i love you bobby.


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