Gay, London and Oriental. Take A Look ;)
At around 10pm I went online and did my usual stuff. Carlo
was on my list and I decide to speak to him. He told me he
had an argument with Tom (same Tom from 2 entries back) and
he felt really down. I was worried about him and tried to
comfort him. We had another phone conversation, he was down
and just wanted someone to talk to. He was telling me why
he was down and talked a little bit about his history.
Whenever I talk to Carlo I feel that he often feels down
about himself. All I want is for him to be really happy, I
care and admire him so much, he's so lovely, gentle, kind,
sensitive and so deep.
My phone cut off around 1 hour into the conversation
(stupid phone), and went online around one a half hours
later. Carlo was still online and I spoke to him. He told
me he had cut himself.
This wasn't the first time he had done this. I know why he
does it, he felt that he was alone and needed to feel
something. I can't stop him, even if I asked him to I know
that he would do it anyway. I felt that I failed him
as a friend, it hurts me when he does this to himself. If
he could see the way I see him he would know that he wasn't
alone, that people do love him and that he shouldn't have
to feel down about himself.
Carlo means so much to me, it pains me to see him like
this. If I could take some of his pain to make him feel
better I would do so in a heartbeat.
Maybe I don't really understand whats its like to be alone,
I have my friends and family always there for me, it must
be hard for him. I will always care for him and support him
everyway possible. No one should have to go through this
alone, Carlo, I will always be there for you....