*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2001-09-05 19:16:53 (UTC)

5/9/01........JUST LISTENING.....

I finally got the Alicia Keys cd....IT'S ABOUT DARN TIME!
Well, I love it! I like every song on the cd, which is rare
because I've never had a cd like that. Anyway, today I'm
off....YES!!!! I think I'm going to talk to Al(the manager)
and tell him that I can't work the way I've been working. I
mean, I love the hours I get and stuff, but for the
salvation of ME....I've got to slow it down some. My school
work is suppose to be first and I haven't made it that.
Money isn't a big thing to me really...so I don't really
need it. WELL...yeah, I do because all this SENIOR stuff
that I have to freakin pay for doesn't make sense! I know I
don't really have to pay for it, but I do want to help with
the cost of everything. Show my responsibility....ya know!
But anyway, I talked to Eilene(my friend forever and a day)
yesterday. We didn't talk really long, but we kinda caught
each other up on stuff. Man, I know what I'm missing in my
life....other than Leroy....I don't have the friendship, at
school at least, where I can talk about me...and not help
and listen to other people. I mean, I know I present myself
to be someone who is put together, but I have a lot going
on in my head. I love Dee to death, but I can't tell her
stuff about how I feel about Leroy because she doesn't
understand. I mean, she does to a certain extent, but it's
like she doesn't really care. But I know she has only seen
me like this with one dude and that's him. I don't know.
It's crazy. I contradict myself so much with Leroy. I don't
know what made me have like a remission of these feelings
for him. It's like that though. One minute, I'm
like...whateva...and then I'm like....OH, LEROY!....it's
stupid really. I just picture how retarded this sounds to
all of yall out there. Oh yeah, I had to erase on of my
entries in here because I see where it could make people
think crazy stuff. Honestly, I don't think anyone reads
this darn thing....so it's like I'm talking to myself right
now. If you are reading this, then email me and let me know
what you think. I want to know about the people who read
this thing. Are you like me? Well, I'm about to hit the
books....man, Alicia Keys is deep.....*J*




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