Griffinblade

Darksyde Diary
2003-01-02 03:18:56 (UTC)

New Year's Day

Hey again. Welcome to mah hole in the wall again. To be
honest.. very little happened today, yet i managed to
absorb a brand spanking knew feeling. A new sensation.. I
thought i'd had enough of them, but nooo, it seems i've
more. I dunno wether or not it's a good one...but i'm sure
as hell glad that I have it.

Today, there was a New Year's Day party at my house. Huge
surprise, there are never parties at my house! And even
more surprisingly, it was mine. my friends. ...most of
them. Some of them didnt, or wouldnt come for some other
reason..and one of them is very angry at the world. I urge
all of you to pray for her...i am.

The party in and of itself was kinda boring. We just sorta
hung around, and considering everyone present belonged to a
couple that was there.. we sorta hung on eachother.
Nothing remotley serious...just enjoyed the other's
company. Anyone who knows me, knows that i'm very much in
love with my Lupa. It's a great thing to actually get to
hang around with her. We dont get much of a chance. But
now, is where my new sensation comes into play.

For years, actually my whole life prior, i was more or less
a loner. That's completely changed. I'm now feeling
physical pain that she's not there. Party's over. Oh.
Bye. I know i'm selfish...I know that i can still see her
soon enough, and that i should be glad that she's alive and
breathing somewhere, and probably thinking about me...
That's the way i've lived all the rest of my life. I've
always thought that, and always believed it. always. Not
now. Physical pain. I miss her so damn much right now,
it's hurting me. I'm very stupid for saying so..but it
does. The thought that us being together...me having her
in my arms, the thought of that act as being fleeting...the
thought that I cant hold her in my arms RIGHT NOW, and
watch her fall asleep there...that kills me. It
shouldnt..but it does. I love her, and i miss her. Maybe
it's the fact that i REALLY wanna marry that little girl,
and TRUELY hold her forever... Or maybe i'm just a
lovesick moron. Take care, everyone. I'm out.

Josh/Wraith




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