Bast

Idiocy
2003-01-02 00:35:30 (UTC)

sigh

I miss Krissy. I started cleaning my room today...yes I
have become that bored but before that I had the experience
of a lifetime....we gave Catdog (penpen) a bath... uh huh,
she has a clean ass now...thankgod I only had to hold her.
That was the easy part, cleaning her seemed harder, my poor
mother LMAO. Okay so then I just kinda existed for a
little bit and then read for a bit. After all that I
started cleaning my room up. I put the Sprite in Krissys
fridge since she drinks that more than I do and the coke is
in mine. All of her dressings are in hers. Lets see, my
bed was taken apart so now it is just the mattress. I
cleaned up some papers and shit... created a bag for
recycling...that is one thing my dad did tell me to tell
christopher and krissy,....make sure you recycle!!!!! Ummm
lets see. I haven't played my video game yet today but I
shall. Last night I didn't stay up to midnight, I had no
reason too. Krissy called at midnight and wanted to know
why I was asleep...umm hello I have no one to spend New
Years with.... everyone disappeared including my brother.
Usually I spend it with him and his friends but whatever.
Everyone tells me how much fun they had on NYE and you know
what I am happy for you but you only need to tell me about
once. I can't stand it when people tell me the same thing
ten times in two minutes. It is irritating. I told my
mother last night that if anyone called for me to tell them
I wasn't there. So what if I really was, I didn't feel
like talking. I wasn't in a good mood last night. I just
wanted to go to bed. I didn't want to be questioned about
going to bed, I just wanted to go to bed but everyone had
to question me. "Why are you sleeping" Well I guess I'm
not now!!! You would not believe how many people do
that...my faavorite and my gram is famous for it is when
someone calls you and then says "oh I'm sorry, are you
sleeping?" Well I'm not now you dumbfuck.

And the weather guy says that we are expecting snow, snow
and more...yes you got it...snow. How exciting. My cat
sounds like she is trying to shit out a goddamn horse. God
that sounded painful...... Someone shoot me if I am ever
that constipated and for that long...OUCH!!!!! Right so
anyways....enough about my cat and its constipation... And
she concentrates so hard...you can tell when she sticks her
head out...her whiskers...right so anyways... we are trying
to find a way to cure her... we have tried just about
everything. I can't afford an operation to fix what is
making her this way so what to do, what to do.... With my
luck it will turn into the runs...which is worse a cat that
can't shit or a cat that shits liquid...Sick I know but I
am bored, I need to talk about something.


I miss Krissys father. I miss him a lot. Not exactly sure
why I miss him so much but I do. I'm not going to call her
anymore. I've decided that. She doesn't need to be bugged
on vacation...I can find something to do. There is plenty
to do, read, write, play video games, sleep.... use that
neato foot massager that dad got...it is awesome.... you
should see it. Ummm what else. Take this time to have
some privacy... thoughts of my own, thoughts.. that I have
never told anyone and probably never will... I should spend
time thinking of those thoughts... remembering... I should
visit his grave. I haven't been there in a long time.
I've been avoiding it. Perhaps I will never be able to let
him go, perhaps I will never understand, perhaps I am just
avoiding another long talk with him at his grave
side....you know I used to ride my bike there almost
everyday and I would lay down by his grave and talk to
him. I would ask him for advice, I would ask him to always
be with me, I would beg him not to leave, I would refuse to
let him go but most of all I would give him my heart and
refuse to take it back. He was a great man, stubborn.
Kinda like me. I was always at his side...always. I can
still smell that cigar of his, it will never leave me.

I will probably be back later to write even more...it seems
to be all I do...by the time Krissy comes back I will
probably tell the whole world my demons on here. funny how
that works.




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