freeze time to blossom eternally through
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2001-09-05 10:20:02 (UTC)


wow what a freaking day today. fuck. i mean i am
speechless almost. joan and i just got off the phone and
she wants to be with me. but she wants me to move to
texas. i cant move to fucking texas. i told her that it
would take me awhile. that i have to save up money. i got
a 100 dollar a week job and that goes so fast. fuck. i
mean what can i do. plus its california. i love it here.
its my home. my parents are so protective of me. i mean
id be leaving everything to go there for her. and i mean
if shes not willing to wait, then why should i bother to
bust my butt. i know long distance relationships suck, but
its worth a fucking shot. i am so shocked right now. the
day i have waited for is here but it comes with a major
condition that i cant fulfill right now. fuck. fuck fuck
fuck. FUCK. i cant believe this. im so shocked. i need
to be realistic though. argh...i shouldnt have gotten
stoned right now bc im totally confused. i mean shes in
freaking texas. and i cant move. i dont want to
move....or do i? i mean it would be so cool to get away
from here and try and make it by myself. but what if i
dont? and then i have to come back home...i cant be stuck
out in texas. fuck i need to think this through. i guess
i will start saving money...and if i change my mind, i have
all this money saved up anyways. great idea so far....

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