helena

in deep sh*t
2001-09-05 08:18:23 (UTC)

fuck you

i am pissed about alot of things but ill just have to leave it alone. For example ALL i wish i could get him redhanded but hes such an a$$hole and I don't have the time to waste on that sick f*ck. I wish I could really screw with a bunch of people that have screwed with me but i'll wait...

hahaaa my minor sister got very mad a few days ago and not only did she break every goddamn thing she also attacked 'mom' with part of the metal furniture that was part of a metal display set. MANNNNN I was watching tv when it happened and boy was it worth it. she told me her only regret is that she didn't hit that b*tch some more. So mom calls the cops and i dunno what the hell they thought they would find here. About 9 of them came down!!! So funny and they wanted to search the house for weapons i was like ohhhh puuuhhhhhhllleaaaaaaaaseeee.
She told them on the phone 'please help me my daughter is breaking things and hitting me'. Well after they came over and they saw everything broken they saw it was a 'rage' thing and not premeditated. They just asked any weapons in the house? I said no. THey didnt even search the house and mom was saying how i had caused this and i made sis do it because i'm so evil and that i have this power blah blah blah and after listening to my mom talk for a bit they thought she was psycho because she kept telling them how evil i was and actually one of the cops told me what would happen just a routine 3 hr processing THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BITCH NOW SIS'S FINGERPRINTS ARE ON FILE .She has a court date etc for assault...a mediator thing though. mom, not being human has no marks on her and no blood.(shes now asleep in her cave)

they didn't even put her in a juvie place she went there and watched Tv. Its funny she was telling me the girl next to her had stabbed a guy in the eye and this other guy had fireworks on his lap while smoking pot and they blew up.

A religious fanatic friend of mom's was telling me to not make such loud threats. If the police heard me I could get in trouble. I was saying things like
'Its not that hard to hire a hitman to take that bitch out'
I was soooo pissssed coz she wouldn't leave me alone!!!!!!!

Anyways apparently i scared the sh*t out of her. Also she told me my mom had stuff on me that she was gonna turn into the police. How pathetic. She doesn't have squat. She's such a loser. Oh let me see she will probably show them something I wrote to the effect of
'DIE BITCH DIE...I HOPE YOU BURN IN FUCKING HELL'
But I'm sure thats not a crime. I mean hell isn't that personal or something.

I tore up all my journals.This is because I really dont want her finding them or having anything of mine. Like if she gives me a gift i have to get rid of it or its bad luck and the letters i wrote to her when i was alot younger i found them all and destroyed them. and pictures too i dont want her with my babypictures. i was obviously born into the wrong family or something. and i dont have any pictures of her.

She thinks though that I have surveillance in my room or something because once she was in there going through my stuff and she took something. And I told her and she denied it. Shes like 'i will sue you' Yeah it was shortly before that that i realize that she lies. she really creeps me out i mean dad respected my privacy and my room.
When i was in HS I had a 4.0-3.8 gpa didnt do sex or drugs didn't even bring people over from school. I didn't get wtf was up w/ that. I caught her in a lot of lies and for me that was great because she had always been this 'self righteous'JUDGEMENTAL little bitch who always said so and so is a snitch and blah when she was one herself!! I love humiliating her though because she doesn't get that her mind games and her controlling behavior just wont work anymore. And that her bible preaching friend shit wont work anymore and that nothing ever will. She deserves no good memories.
My dad doesn't lie but shes said he does. I dont believe a word she says because she is a sociopath with no conscience whatsoever.

I LOVE EMINEM!!!!!!YESSSS SOMEONE WHO HATES THEIR MOM AS MUCH AS I DO!!!

Today though shes asking me where i was and what i'm doing out so late blah blah and that the people in the blue car outside were probably for me. I told her i'm 22 and that i can be and do whatever the fuck i wanna and to butt the fuck outta my life.And that not every lowlife you see is assoicated with me. there were people making crank calls and she told me they were my 'friends'. How great was it to see that it was someone from her school who called(called ID) that was sooooo funnnyyy. i told her whatever and whoever happens its none of her fukcing business because we're not related anymore.
shes probably pissed that she'll never see me again. one month and i'm outtie. i told her dont ever call me your daughter pretend i'm not and that if i ever got mugged or raped or become a whore or anything happened to me its better than being here with you.
It felt so good coz she was trying to start something with me. i dont understand why she doesn't go get alife or get laid or DIE or something that she always has to fukcing sabotague my life. I really don't appreciate being used by these people and if i did wanna press charges that bitch would go to jail for child abuse.
First chance I get i'm gonna disown her or whatever in a court of law so that I'LL FINALLY HAVE SOME PEACE.I dont even care about my childhood home anymore or any of my property. I dont care about anything I just want my sanity. I wish I could change my DNA but this is the next closest thing. I'm gonna change my name and disappear after I leave here. I'm gonna adopt my sis or whatever coz i can see how they are playing more games. they're not gonna send her away to school they are lying AGAIN.
even my sis didn't wanna leave the police station. she wanted to go into foster care or something.

I told her to not do stuff anymore or kill her or anything coz your life isn't worth throwing away over some piece of trash like her. My dad isn't writing back to me. For 2 years my sister has said she doesn't wanna fucking live with mom and no one would take her seriously. Maybe now he will do something. I wish they had given us up for adoption so we wouldn't have to deal with this fucking shit every fucking day!! I mean damn to affect my life EVEN TODAY WHEN I'M 22.

Thanks mom for putting me in debt...and ALMOST ruining my credit and ALMOST getting the IRS and FBI after me. Luckily, I happened to speak to a friend of mom's and I realized what kind of shit i was really gonna get into. She wanted me to get in trouble and she lied about this law that was in place.
Yeah with a lot of things 'There but for the grace of God go I'

Very soon I will return the favor. And you'll see what its like to get your credit ruined for real. I have alot of plans for you but of course I will not get in trouble for it now will I? Just like you don't get in trouble with a lot of shit that you pull. Because no one believes that you are capable. To this day only one person believes me. Only one person knows how psycho you are.
Not even dad *really* knows...that #$#@%$&&()^*(&%$# I can't believe he actually let me live with you for all those years. If he didn't like living with you why did he think I did? Thanks alot dad FOR NOTHING!!!!

damn my mom used to hit me before and she did alot of shit that i realize today would be called 'child abuse' such as leaving me with another psycho woman i didn't know for a period of 2 fucking years. and hitting me.

She's too scared to do anything now though because no one will save her from me NOT JESUS NOT ALLAH NOT BUDDAH NOT THE LAW NO FUCKING BODY. I told her what i would do if she ever got in my way or tried to mess up my life again.

Christ.. I wish she had gotten a bf or something so that SHE WOULD GET THE FUCK OFF MY CASE. All you kids with stepparents be grateful mannnnnn at least there's something else to focus on.

Well you may know the name of my first hubby you dont know the name of my second. and I'll be gone with my sugar daddy $$$$$ and i'll adopt my sis and all our dreams will come true. I wish that sis would go with me when i leave rigth now but i jsut cant support her ; ( i really hate leaving her here.No body is looking out for he best interest. :(

but i told her if she doesn't kill mom or do any more of this stuff (which really its all designed so you can screw yourself over) have any fits i plan to get opera training for her after hs with the very best coz thats what she wants to do. And to do to a music institute.
I'll probably have 2-3 jobs for a while.

I can give myself what i never had and as for sis shes really talented and she deserves to have someone look out for her.
But she CAN be an egotistical b*tch sometimes. I mean I really have to compromise to get along with her. PRIMADONA!!!!! She'll be like one of those people with expensive furs etc being a damned libra and all.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ is sooo everything. I'm gonna be soooo loaded and everyone will leave me the fuck alone. And i can do whatever i want. finalllyyy.

wow i used to have so many 'ideas' and stuff about how life is but FUKIT I dont care anymore.
When life screws you over you are SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!! Problems dont ever go away..something new alawys comes up. Its always something.

MURPHEYS LAW: IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, IT WILL

I HAVE ACCEPTED IT. THE ONLY THING TO DO IS TO BE AS PREPARED AS POSSIBLE.


Am I jinxed?ok this happened today in 30 mins this cash register machine wouldn't register my stuff and it took them 10 mins to figure it out, i went to another store this freaking fight broke out right before me. It was frustrating.. I could't do what i was there to do because all that shit took too much time.

i dont care anymore. I'm just gonna go for comfort and avoid pain. I'm not gonna overanalyze anything I'm gonna focus on what i like to do and as for the scruples fuck them too.
would i ever strip if i'm broke maybe. would i ever have sex/get hitched to be rich $$$ maybe. will i have an overactive conscience anymore hellll nooo. will i always be in control of my life FUCK YESS. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. IN THE WORST SITUATIONS I WILL ALWAYS TURN THEM AROUND and i will always come out on top.
I put so much energy into doing something and i keep failing and then i get more energy and keep putting some more and failing always failing over and over and over and over because something always goes wrong.