anea

anea
2001-09-05 06:29:08 (UTC)

wanna run away

i`m sitting at work....a job i really hate, but i guess
it`s okey, cuz i need the money, i`m just so sicken tired
of it all....i wanna run away...but i have no money...

so i guess i have to stay...but u won`t, i have to change
something in m life, cuz i can`t take this bullshit life
anymore...it`s just to damn boring...and hard...and i won`t
do it..i won`t do what people expect from me....i wanna go
do my own thing...i just have to figure out what my thing
really is...expect from committing suicide...

i don`t know why i feel this shitty....i cut myself, i
starv, i puke, i drink, i do drugs....i ditch work...i just
hate myself...i hate my life...and i`ve been feeling this
quite a while now, and don`t know how much longer i can
take all this...

but i`m trying, i really am...i will fight this, and come
out alive...i just have to fight, and believe in myself, i
just have to feelthat life is worth figthing for...i have
to feel that my life is worth living...or it`s no fucking
use in trying...

i hate my thoughts..i hate myself, i hate even being born!!

-almost_alive-