~*Why Does It Hurt So Bad?*~
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2001-09-05 04:38:03 (UTC)

All's Well In Love And War, I Suppose (Pt.3)

yea...back on this suject AGAIN. joy. what fun. all gung-ho toward being his friend. hey, im
willing to try. nething so that i dont loose him
completely. i decided to leave him a boyfriend,
but not as a friend. thats what i was shooting for. but
the other nite i had a break down. i tried so hard to stop
it, so hard not to let the feelings back in, so hard not to
give in, but i did. and i was embarrassed by it too. i
couldnt believe it. i still cant. but i wonder...what
trigered it? i cant figure it out. nehoo...onto tonites
story. im full of em, arent i? hehe i went to McDz after
the lil frosh thing at school. i saw talio. *suspiro*
nehoo...i talked to him for like 2 mins, then i left.
whatever. no big deal. then i come in, and theres a
totally different atmosphere. i couldnt and still cant
place my finger on it. so, the next thing we know, the
power goes out. then it comes back on, and so we all go
back to what we were doing. then it GOES out. i mean,
GOES OUT. for 2 and a half hours. so were all chillen
(me, talio, norman, beth ann, rita, jorge, josie, rosa...)
in the lobby, just messin around. then norman and natalio
leave bc talio has to go to cingular to pay his phone
bill. then he calls me later and says that he wanted me to
open the door so they could come back in. i go to open the
door, but beth ann tells me not to. he was on his knees
begging me, pleading with me...i wanted to so bad, but i
couldnt. i kept telling him, "i would if i could, but i
cant" he keeps givin me those damn puppy dog eyed looks,
which was makin my heart two and a half hours
later, when the power was on, (i had been on the phone wif
him since 7:42 and now its like 8:15 or so) the power
comes on. so then talio is still beggin to come in, but we
still cant let him in yet. so we finally could open the
doors, and he was so happy...the look on his face...:) ne cut to the chase bc im tired and wanna go to
bed...he was flirting with me all nite. this one part, he
was holding a bag and then he had his hand up, and so i put
it in his, and he held my hand. it was like time stopped.
i mean, SERIOUSLY! then i snapped outta the daze and let go
of his hand, even tho i wanted nothing more then to stand
there and just hold it. THE LOOK HE GAVE! THE DAMN LOOK!
actin like old times (when we were going out) and it was
great. i love it. but i wanna it just me? or
does he seem to feel it too? i was talkin to mah mom, and
she said that he was a flirt, that he did that to all the
girls. ill have to watch him, bc ive never seen him hold
some other girls hand. at all. ive seen him hang his arm
over a girl, but only a manager...not a crew person. ill
have to watch. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! damnit to fawkin
hell! i knew that if i started to get over him, for the
most part i would, the something like this would happen to
fall all over again. im not gonna worry about it. now, if
it happens again then well see. but its nice to think,
dream, see, smel, feel.......