carver the hollywood mouse

ROBOTICJESUS
2002-12-31 14:40:03 (UTC)

IM GETING THE FEAR


Yeah she doesnt care that i have nothing to do
tonight.Shit she might feel a little bad but she is not
going to do anything about it.Fuck two months ago we would
of huing out toight.She used to love me so much.She told me
the other night that she would think about leaveing me all
the time.She never said anything.Shit i thought about it al
the time and i didnt say anything.There was nothing she
could of said that was going to change my mind.Iam all
fucked up.We were together for so long and know we have
nothing.She has moved on and im clinging to memories.Why
cant i move on.I was thinking abourt leaving for so
long.longer then she ws.I guess its difrent when you have
someone who is abusive like i am.the grief she cuased me
was nothing compared to what i caused her.It most be easy
to let go when you hate the person you are with.I should of
let go of myself.Thats what i have to do now.I can not go
on makingbthe same mistakes as i have in the past.I wasnt
meant to be with her.I would tell myself thta i wouldnt be
with her in a year.Where did those thoughts go?Shit i dont
know what im talking about.I cant hear myself anymore.I
cant hear anything except for the sound of love dieing.




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