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2001-09-05 00:16:32 (UTC)

ok.. during this last weekend,..

ok.. during this last weekend, i managed to destroy the
single most important thing in my life in one fell
inebriated swoop.

here i was worrying that this woman i loved would find
another that would be able to see just how wonderful,
beautiful, and intelligent my $person is.
i fear, and with good reason, that i have lost $person. its
sad that the first time i tell her that i love her, is in
the middle of an apology.

its no secret how i feel about her, i mean, hell, everybody
in our regular click knew.. i'm sure she knew i was too
afraid to say it to her.

regardless, the ball is in her court. i told her everything
i remember, and most of what i've been told. i can only
pray that by her good graces she provides me just the
opportunity to show her how sorry i am, and that i would
_never_ do something so dispicable if i had an ounce of
reason in my head. the same thing has happened to me (more
than once) and i can't say i have acted anything more than
hurt and explosively reactionary...

i've got a slight presumption that $person will be reading
this.. if so, know that i love you, and that i will do
whatever it takes to win back your trust, even if i can't
win back your heart....

if anyone else reads this and wants to flame, diss, kick my
ass, whatever.. i completely deserve it.. leave me a msg