Day's of Random
2001-09-04 23:31:00 (UTC)

Words and Language

. . . savor words and language. No matter what anybody
tells you. . . words and ideas can change the world.
---Robin Williams
*Dead Poet's Society*

Not much to write about today. Except I'm like seriously
confused. NO really I am. There's this guy that I really
like. When he's around I feel safe. I've never felt safe so
this is something new for me to experience. He's got a
reputation as being an "asshole" but I've spent time with
him and he's really not. He's a great guy. A little on the
controlive side but really a sweet guy, depise he's current
problems. The thing is... we had sex after knowing each
other for like almost two months... and right in the middle
of sex he says.."If you really want to be with me you have
to lose the wieght". I was completely thrown off and
extremly hurt. I had waited four years to have sex and this
guy completely ruined what should have been a great
experience for me. I want to be with him... but at what
price? I mean I accept him for him but it's like he cant
accept me for me. I'm torn cuz I really have some strong
feelings for him. And at this same time this really nice
overly polite guy comes in my life and accepts me for me.
But he's just so friggin nice that it scares the hell out
of me. I'm going to see him in a couple of weeks. I just
dont know what to do. The nice guy is a guy I thought I'd
never get. And so now I'm so friggin confused its not funny.

Thought about my friend Dae today. I miss her. She's in the
hospital getting well. I hope she comes home soon. I hope
she realizes how much she's missed.