Life of a Tapple
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2002-12-31 03:17:15 (UTC)

Being In Love

Ever been in love? Days and nights just seem to flow
intermindlessly into one. Everything around you doesn't
seem very important. That's how I feel right now. Getting
married in several months is just an amazing feat in its
own. Me- a once wild, reckless rebel who could never settle
down has seem to be tamed. Or you could just say whipped :)
Whichever works for you.

It all started when I was trying to get back at an old ex
who I'll call Kenny. Figuring that instead of taking him to
my senior prom, I'd take Kris in hopes of intentionally
making Kenny jealous and desires rise for me. Ha! Didn't
work. But in that night everything changed without stopping
for a moment's thoughts. I kissed Kris. Sure, he was
hesitant. Hell he was very persistant on my not kissing
him. I did anyways. :) That kiss changed our world.

Sure it still took me months of time to move on from the
ex. I started to grow and realize despite my pitiful
attempts of breaking up with the poor guy- Kris wasn't
going anywheres. He was quite very instistant on the fact
he wants to be in my life forever. Of course having your
heart being shattered by someone who you believed for the
longest time to be "the one" was very effective on the fact
of my disbelief. Having heard the lines quite a few times
before makes a person haul out guards and concrete walls.

I'd never thought I'd hear myself say this but I truly
believe I have finally moved on in my life. It was
obviously a painstaking struggle for me and not to mention
Kris. That poor guy has been through so much hell and drama
from me it's not even funny anymore. Though there are
quirks in certain moments that makes me giggle at my own
stupidity. Sure, they're not exactly funny to Kris but it
is somewhat amusing to myself that someone could put up
with so much crap from the person they are in love with.
Hell, if I was with someone like me- I'd sure go shoot
myself right now. But then again, I AM ME. So I'm kinda
stuck in the current situation for now. :)

Through every secret, every confession, every truth and
lie, that guy has been by my side. I've never had someone
who seemed to care and love me as much as Kris does. That
guy is really something. All the doubts I ever had about us
are erased with every smile or touch exchanged. The look in
his beautiful blue eyes, the warmth of being in his arms
when I fall asleep at night...It's just so amazing.
Especially for a girl from the wrong side of the tracks for
a preppy family like his. Especially with my kind of
background ranging from broken hearts to broken homes. He
showed me the meaning of life. Each dawn to sunset, each
moment to hour. It's just...indescribable. I thought I was
in love before but I've never had love like this. Kris is
different yet so familiar. He's the guy I see in my dreams-
and long to touch yet here in reality, stands before me.

Love- it's amazing the way it makes you feel. But if you're
not careful, it shatters you as quickly as it builds up...