George's Ice Princess

The Saga Begins
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2002-12-30 03:20:17 (UTC)

Conflicted

"George" is my best friend - I have known him since 1995,
when he was too young for me and I was too high and mighty
for him in any case... I have taken advantage of his
friendship, mistreated him, disregarded his feelings and
been a bitch in general to him.
Now he's there for me again... right when I am lonely and
need him. Granted, he's there for me several thousand
miles away... but nonetheless, he's there. For the first
time since we've known each other, I would really like to
be more than "just friends" with him. He is so good to me,
and makes me feel so wonderful and desireable... and while
I had never considered him before, the way he treats me
now makes him seem very desireable to me.
The conflict arises when I look at reality - THE BIG
PICTURE. He has always seemed to have a serious lack of
ambition... he defends himself and his dreams (which to me
seem far-fetched and silly) reasonably enough, but I can't
get over the feeling that involvment with George would be
asking for trouble.
So here I am, planning my vacation to go hang with George
and enjoy some much-needed time together, wondering what
the HELL I am doing. Am I going to use my best friend for
sex? I know he wouldn't mind too terribly much, but is
this going to screw up our friendship?
Oh to hell with it... I can't even process all this crap
swirling around in my head.


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