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2001-09-04 05:04:44 (UTC)

Tired....Very Tired

I got to work today. Oh how wonderful that was. I hate my
job so much. I also hate having to work yet another
holiday.I've been there for long enough that I shouldn't be
doing this. Argh. I also had to walk to work. With as
ticked as dad is at me I was afraid to tell him I needed
yet another ride. Oh yeah super fun day.

Then there's the fact that I am wiped. You won't believe
what I did today. I went to cover someones break so I went
over to register 3 and started cashering. The problem was
that my money wasn't in 3. Heck, no ones money was in 3.
Even sadder was the fact it didn't dawn on m for a while. I
kept trying and trying to scan an item and it didn't work.
It took a while but it finally dawned on me.

I just cna't seem to mak everyone happy right now. My dad
is ticked at me and I know he thinks I don't do enough. I
know he's still upset at me and I know he's ticked about my
room. I don't want to let him down or anything but dang I'm
tired. I know I'm going to have to put my hours from Friday
onto Tuesday until I can drive but I'm too timid to say
anything. After all I had to have him fix my schedule this
week. Then again this week was his fault. I feel like I am
being flaky with the people I tutor for. I feel so bad
about that but they are always so nice and don't say
anything. I swear I'm never going to be their Jamie.

I have to go to school and theoretically work both jobs.
Although, I can tell you now i'm not making it to one of
them. It's kinda nice becuase one of my friends online out
of the blue wants to have lunch. That should be fun. We go
to the same school, and him and some random people are
having lunch. I so need actually people to be around. Part
of me feels guilty because I so need the time to do my
homework. I have just been so busy. Then again I really
need to be around people to keep sane,

I realized today that I forgot my moms birthday. It's the
second time I have. I feel so bad. She didn't say anything
and she's been so focused on helping me out. Makes me feel
even worse. Also, it's weird because it's so not my mother.
But I guess that person was right when they said that now
that she doesn't have to be my mother she can be something
else. Part of me also wonders if it's her way of showing
that she is a better parent than dad. Kind of a one up man
ship sorta thing.

I am so tired. I still need to eat. If I do get to that
tonight.I should be doing homeowork but my brain is
officially mush. I need to contact the people I tutor for.
I need to take my license test again. I need to get my
insurance straightened out and get contacts again ASAP. I
so hate wearing my glasses. I don't see as well and I feel
so ugly.