the seeker

comfort in my own skin
2002-12-29 14:41:24 (UTC)

a shiny me

today, or this week at least i got something that not a lot
of people get to have - a brand new me. or at least, a
shiny one.

funnily, it had to come in the form of a life-threatening
viral disease.

it gave me something i never thoguht i could have again -
hope. hope because i was able to see the me that i thought
had been buried under all those layers. i was able to see
me pretty...and i never really thought i could do that
again. i was able to see myself as salvageable, as
loveable, as a person that deserved to exist. i was able
to believe in God and in his goodness through the goodness
of other people.

funnily, in the span of a few days, i was able to escape
death by a very close margin, and i guess i just wanted to
document that feat today by writing here.

i really feel like a shiner me. like a brand new person.
very much apt to the coming of the new year. and i just
love this feeling. and i love me.