Ok why did I do it? Why did I have to go through that box
of my dad's shit? I knew no good would come from it. It's
probably why I waited til I was alone to go through it. But
I shouldn't be alone. Not now. What the fuck was I
thinking? I knew as soon as I saw that tape. I knew what it
was. I should have thrown it out. Destroyed it. Burned it.
NOT PLAY IT!! What the fuck. Why did I have to torture
myself like that for? Why? why? why?
What made me think that hearing tom's voice again would be
a good thing? Oh god i am an idiot. It doesn't matter that
for the moment he was here again, singing and laughing, oh
how I miss the sound of his laughter. god. why did i do
that? please please put me out of my misery. please?