Jan's Life
2001-09-04 01:30:09 (UTC)

Why can't I have the one I want?

Okay at Luke's party I was really nrevous because lately I
have been feeling like I'm not as good as everyone who does
sports and has boyfriends. But.. kyrsta and emily... and
all the sporty people were "too good to come", so me and
hannah and lindsay and ashela were all havin a great time
actin like ourselves. But ashela was actin a little TOO
comfortable.. poor kavan. I knew she didn;t even like
him... she just wants a bf.. but they were goin out... and
kavan saw her talkin with luke and I guess he got a clue
she liked him... so they broke up and like... in the next
half hour ashela went out with luke. It was sooo mean.
But i guess kavan was feeling deprived cause he was
touching me every chance he had... BUt... damian started to
like me that night... and brantlyn likes me,,, and derek
claxton likes me... and billy still likes me.. But why
won't tyler!!! Why is it that the person you Can't have
doesn;t like you! I want him back soooo bad! I remember
how he makes me feel. I don't think any other guy will
ever make me feel the way he does... It's like I can be
myself and it feels like we were so close... all the boys I
know don't want to have a relationship like me and tyler
had and that IS the way I want it. I want to go to their
house and feel comfortable and feel like there actually IS
something ebwteen us... I seriosuly did love tyler... I
know what a crush feels like... and this wasn't... But oh
well... Maybe he'll come to his sense and maybe he'll see
he misses me too?! well... for now I gtg! write later...

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