the life and times of me
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2002-12-28 21:32:16 (UTC)


Why does he hurt me like this?
it hurts me as much as it hurts him if not more that i dont
love him back. and all this emotional pressure and pain he
gives me, his jelousy, ignorance. i am not perfect, i am
far from it. i almost have a responsibility about it. cant
he realize that i want to be loved too, that i have my eye
on a few people and maybe im going through the same thing
he is?
the ultimate sacrifice is that you would rather have the
person you love ultimately happy, even if theyre not with
you. so according to him, if he cant have me, no one can,
and he tries to make my life a living hell and make me so
even though this ends in almost-heartbreak for me, i
wouldnt change it, because ive learned from him. ive
learned that not everyone is trustworthy, sometimes the
people you think you can trust the most and always depend
on can break you and turn on you in a split second. but the
thing is, in a few days, hell come back to me, crying,
wanting to be cool again, and ill say 'of course, dont
worry, i was never upset' but it wont be the same. ill
never trust him. this has happened too many times.

thank you, david, for making me a stronger person than i
already am. your shit and lies and games have taught me
what not to be like to my friends. im speaking my mind here
because you know i would never say anything bad about you
and tell you off to your face, like you did to one of my
best friends when she told you she loved you. so thank you,
the things you have taught me i kno ill never forget.

to the people i lovE and trust with all my heart: thank you
guys so much. im never scared to speak my mind or cry on
your shoulder. you are the people that have made me what i
am and i thank you. i kno you would never backstab me and
hurt me beyond belief like some other little fuckers. I
LOVE YOU GUYS! thank you for being there. you have my
eternal love, gratitude, but most of all, my eternal trust.