not who you think i am

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2002-12-28 03:42:17 (UTC)


i really want that reps job for hellfire, but i dont think
andre trusts me enough to give it to me, i'll try not to
take it personally but it'll be quite a blow if i dont get
it after i got up all that courage to ask him for it!
so far he's talked to everyone except me, i know he doesnt
want me to do it, its annoying, and it makes me wonder
about our friendship if he doesnt even trust me enough to
take on the extra responsibility!! im in that server almost
every fucking day!! ive put loads of effort into it and he
acts like i dont appreciate it, its the only place where i
can be myself, of course i fucking appreciate it.
i wish id just said yes when i had the chance instead of
worrying about if i could manage it.
its really hard to talk to andre, i mean i consider him my
friend but i cant talk to him about how i feel, it seems
like im always hiding from him.
so ive stayed online until 4 fucking a.m just to find out
how shitty my friendship is with him!!!!! i want to go to
bed but i know if i do he will give the job to someone
else!! gggrrrrr i hate this so much!!!! i hate him so much

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