samia

After The Rain
2002-12-27 19:44:16 (UTC)

December,27 2002

Well today has been going by very slowly and I think the
weather makes it worse. Eddi is playing the play station
he has been on there for a few hours so I decided to start
this for when he play's I will have something to do.
He got a job today I am excited because I am having a
really hard time with the bills and need the help our
roomate got fired from his job and hasn't paid us any money
for the bills or rent for december I think im gonna half to
kick him out next week if he ever comes home useually he
stays gone for a week or more then pops up to use the phone.
I was sad earlier because bf/ has been saying mean things
and not noticing it like calling me stupid and a dumbass
or a assclown or telling me to shut up etc. i said
something about it but he said i am not mean to you...
I don't do that all the time...but i think he dose it so
much he dosent notice is that possible? He wants to get
married but i think he is not ready he is like a big kid
wont keep his shoe strings tied and pick up after him self
sometimes it drives me crazy especially when he eats with
his mouth open yuuuuuckkkkkuyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
how grose is that and that smacking noise...ohhhhhhhh
sometimes i wish he was a bit more not himself....
like closeing his mouth to chew stood up straight when he
walked didnt studder sometimes when he gets nervous or
fidget more masqulin and not so much acting like a son
I feel like I am his mother like i half to do everything.
I hate it that he wount let me listin to my kind of music
in my own car and how he gets mad when i were make up he
says he thinks i am prettyer with out it but whatever
everyone needs alittle acsenting here and there.
and then he gets mad because i wont not were it but it
helps my self esteem.. well im outti 1
Love You'r Self
PLUR




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