RuxyRux

Restless Comet Diary
Ad 0:
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here
2002-12-27 17:33:51 (UTC)

Why?????

I'm wondering why noone loves me....why?.....it's just
seems I'm scaring everyone away...I hate myself for
that....I even love somebody right now...well...I love
everybody in the world....but...
Now it's all about a guy...and....God...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He just talks to me and stuff....but...I love him...I
do...I guess he just doesnt want to get a "pain in the
butt" 15 years old pest....too bad for me again...
Actually....I wish I was older....at least 20
something...maybe he would like me then....I dont know..I'm
so confused...
I better just forget about it...but I don't want to..I
was starting to be happy but now I realise it was an
ilusion...I shouldn't have hoped so much....
Now I'm just praying to my guardien Angel that he wont
get bored of me and he will talk to me as he did until
now...I like that a lot...talking is good for me... I've
got so many secrets.....I need to stop getting any secret
for myself...these things are hard to keep in mind...
I just hope I'm gonna be OK...I dont wanna end up
starving....or...dying of cold.....or to get kicked out of
school.I'm not a bad student after all..I'm a neat person
and I do all I'm asked to do....maybe someone will find
some mercy for me.....waaaaaaaah..
I dont understand anything right now but....I know I
have to go on..about the guy.....I just love him and that's
it....if i take it easy I will get used with the idea he
will never ever love me.....he is a great friend after
all....really...I dont wanna lose such a friend just
because of my stupidity...it wouldn't be fair..
Come on Ruxy...cheer up and go on..............
And.....*sigh*.....about the leaving...I gotta save some
money....this will be pretty hard but.....my name is
Ruxy...I will do it somehow.
I wont give up at staying online though....that's my
only way to talk to people....it would kill me stay home
all day long thinking at crazy stuff...
Hmmmm.....


Ad:1