stefany

Its been a hard days nite....
2002-12-27 06:23:19 (UTC)

learning a new lesson

Today during dinner I learned something that I knew already
but didnt want to face the fact that it was true.We were
sitting around the table talking about what ppl expect. In
the words of my dad, "Never expect anything from people
because when you expect and you dont get it you come
dissapointed and when you dont expect and you get something
you will be surprised". This is true to everything. When
you expect something (especially around the holidays) and
you dont get it you get disapointed. Well I dont care about
the gifts really. But last week I was very disappointed.
Why? Because the guy I like was leaving town and I went
down to L.A. to wish him off and spend some time with him.
Well I EXPECTED him to be happy and spend some
time with me. But I was let down by him and I was very very
disapointed. And then he told me that he was going to call
me to let me know what was going to happen as far as
planning and once again he left me down. And I EXPECTED
his phone call. And what happened... i was really
hurt. So I guess I'm at fault for expecting too much from
this guy. So a couple of days later this fellow writes me
an email hoping that I'm not mad and says that he is
sorry. And my dad asked my grandma, "does sorry make
everything better? because it should" and I applied this to
me because this dude said he was sorry for not calling. But
does that really make things better? I know not for me!
Maybe it makes him feel good. But I shouldnt except
SORRY . why? because I'm better than sorry. "Sorry"
suck! What makes a sorry so right? How is it valid? I just
dont know anymore. But I shouldnt take it. Like people
always tell me, I'm so better than a sorry, or a kiss or
anything. The way this "disapointed" could of been
prevented was if I didnt expect so much from people. The
thing is about me is that, I give and give but when
I "expect" things from others I am let down and deepy hurt
because if it was me I would walk through fire for
anything. Just because I'm that type of caring people. But
we have all experienced it, even Jesus. He has had this
best people betray him. I think thats worse. But it happens
to the best of us and we can only be stronger.I guess in my
case I have to be more aware and not be so blind and not
give my heart,soul and time to people that dont want it. In
other words be picky! But its something that i have to be
aware of and not take "sorry". Its more actions than
anything. And if the right person walks in my life and
hopefully i dont push them away... then i will be good.
_




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