Koralreef

An inconcluded life
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2002-12-27 04:27:26 (UTC)

Frank ... June 15

Shit F.W. I tried calling and I got a woman on the line...
then I called again and I got a machine. I left a msg.
Doubt that you heard it because chances are that she might
have erased it before you heard it. Is that your
wife? eller bare din samboende? Jeg beklager, I am very
sorry to have caused any trouble between you guys. I would
not like to have a woman calling my husband in the middle
of the night. I guess you and I had the wrong timing in
this life. Next life kanskje we can give it a shot....
don't you think so? Maybe we can put hold on this and try
in our next life. I guess destiny did not allow it to
happen in this one for some strong reason. This is part
of life and I will just have to live with it.

I want to tell you so many things but I don’t even know if
you will get this message. I don’t know if you check
your email or if it is her that checks it. How often do
you check it. How long will it be until you read these
lines?

I would like to know what you did with our things? I mean
your things that had me in them. Where did you leave your
memories? Did you get rid of them? I keep every single one
of your letters, starting on December 6 1989. And those
are my memories, the ones I will live with for the rest of
my life.

It is now pointless for me to pursue a job in Norway, so I
will stay here in my country for a while. There is no
purpose to go to that country any more. I don’t know,
maybe I will go to the US. I have been told that teachers
are very well paid. Gosh FW, I am so sorry about
everything!! I understand perfectly now how you felt when
you found out I had gotten married. Shit happens I guess…
I just need to move on.

I told you I bought a house right? Yeah. The house of my
dreams. It’s not so big, but has a very big back yard.
Behind the backyard is a National Park, protected by law.
So it is the most beautiful scenery one could ever
imagine. No pollution, no noises, no cars… only nature,
wild animals, lots of insects (hehehe) and nosy
neighbors.

I have not moved there yet though… I still live at my
mother’s house. I don’t think I will move. I am working
on the weekends in that house. You know, painting, doing
that kind of things. Now when the summer comes, I will
start the remodeling works. That is going to be harder,
but every day I learn something new about construction!
The problem is that I don’t have the time to work on it
fully because of my job. In 2 weeks I will be on summer
vacation. I don’t know if you want or can call me, I
still have the same phone number at my mother’s house. I
asked my friend A.T. to call you and see if she could talk
to you, but she did not find you when she called.

Working at this school has been the most wonderful
experience in my life. I have a total of 90 students
divided in 5 classrooms. They are just great. Their ages
range from 14 to 17. It is thanks to them that I am still
hanging on in this world! When I came back last year from
Chile, I went into this deep depression. Parallel to it,
I started working at the school. I did not go to therapy…
my therapy was the kids. They are the sun that brings
light to my life. It is because of them that I feel life
is worthy and it is because of them that I have that
desire of waking up every morning and continuing on with
this painful agony of life. It has not been easy. But
here I am.
Still hanging on.
I wonder why you only write 2 lines? I can’t help but
think about everything we lived through. But well, I
guess only time will tell if you’re going to stand beside
me through both, heaven and hell.

The last thing I want to do is dedicate a song to you… A
song that came out the year we met: 1989. Without knowing
that we would be apart from each other the rest of our
lives I read the lyrics and think of what could have been
you and I. For you, all the way from Panama… Richard
Marx’s Right here waiting for you.
http://www.cathysisland.com/lyrics/richard_marx_right_here_
w
aiting_.htm
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you
That’s it. I am sending you the MIDI file so that you can
hear the music and remember the song. Thank you for the
greatest year of my life: dec. 4, 1989 – June 16, 1990. I
will always have you in my heart, no matter what. You take
care and be good to her. She deserves it. Good luck in
life and at least think about me every February 4th.
All of my love for you now and through eternity.


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