Kitten's deams
2002-12-26 21:07:25 (UTC)

A Letter to Nature Boy From His Kitten (who has her suiters)

I wrote Nature Boy a letter. I couldn't help being mean.
I'm puting a copy into my diary so I can remember what it
was about.

Hey Nature Boy,
Not all is going well. This guy I really was crazy
about, in love with really, dumped me a week before
Chirstmas. I can't really figure out why. I lost ten
punds in one week. It's a physical response to loss. I
could get into the phsycology of it, but that get's
depressing. I just stoped being hungry. Better than
crying in class. The only time I ever let myself think
about him is in the shower, or if I wake up in the middle
of the night. No one has any idea. I'm a good little
I'm at Dads today. I got the cutest white fuzzy
sweater. It's v-neck and form fitting. Plus a new pair
of jeans. Not to mention the new bras. One is red and
has black polkadots, one is black and has sparkaly rainbow
butterlys on it (Lexi chose that one), and the last one is
tuquoise and so comfortable. We had no snow at all till
about 1:00 yesterday. It was a white Christmas all
right. I watched an accident happen on the way home. I
was driving so carefully. I'm a bit paranoid.
I've been out a lot lately. On Sunday A*** came over
after ZOE. We were waiting for Mom to come home. She
never got home so we just left, before she could get home
and say no. We went to see "The Two Towers" It was
really good. Of course I didn't get home till 1:15 am.
Mom was a little ticked off and almost made me cancell my
social plans for Monday, but she got over it. I ended up
getting home fourty minutes after she asked me to, but I
pulled in the drivway the exact same time she did so I
didn't get into trouble. Oh! I dragged A*** and L****
alonge to see "Sweet Home Alabama" It was really good. I
was crying.
It's really wird not talking to you before I get into
bed at night. I get about an hour more of sleep. I
wouldn't think of doing my homework.
I should probibly call A*****. We were working on our
quarter project the week before it was do, a way to keep
my mind off of you, and we ran into quite a few problems.
She wasn't at school the day it was due. So I don't know
if she ended up getting it in.
If you see fit to call, I promise that I'll try my
best to get all sentimental on you. I think there is a
tiny bit of unfinished buisness. Never mind. I don't
have anyone to tell all thease things to. I'm a bit
lonely. I miss you. I should go before I start to think
about you. I'm still

Your Kitten

PS I don't let myself get depressed. You know that.

Of course I was writing about him in the first paragraph.
I can't belive he dumped me. I kept asking if it was
real, because I've never been allowed to be happy. He
kept telling me it was. He lied. I'm not allowed to be
happy. I never have been allowed to be happy.
Thank God for A***. I would have been compleatly
depressed if he had not done his best to cheer me up.
After six months he still loves me. I'm not very good for
him. He gives me everything that I need. He is there for
me whenever I need him. He never lets me down. Then why
can't I love him back. I can tell you why. After I dated
him for elen months I realized than he didn't have that
quality in him that I need in my significant other. He's
missing this zest for life. I love A***, but I could
never marry him. He knows this. I respect him enough not
to take him when I'm on a rebound from another biy. I
have too much respect for him. Plus I know it wouldn't
work out, it would only ruin our friendship. We actually
have one, unlike most ex couples.
Then there's the matter of B****. He is a few weeks
older than me. He's really nice and I could start a
relationship with him. He's a good kisser, but a bit
passive. He is increadibly cute though. I like hanging
out with him. It's fun. He lives half an hour away
though and totaled his car, so If we want to see each
other I have to do the driving. Very annoying. I have to
be honest. Part of the reason that I like being arround
Brett is that I can flirt and tease to my hearts content.
He's fun to kiss on too. I sis make it perfectly clear
from the first time I met him that i really am not looking
for a steady relationship. He's fine with that. I like
the attention though. Is that wrong?
I really don't think so. I am probibly as sexually
secure as a girl can be without being a slut. I know how
to show off my body without going overboard. I can flirt
without throwing myself at a man. I can minipulate
without being controlling. I have enough experiance to
please, but not enough to be fast. I am a virgin and I
plan to keep it that way, but I don't mind that guys like
to stare at my breast. I like my body and am very proud
of my size 9 waist and my 36C-34D breast.
How come when a girl is confident with herself other
girls call her a snob? Or when she dresses a bit sexsy
other girls call her a slut? Why are guys so confident
that a girl will put out if she knows how to dress? Why
are cops such concieded basterds?
I was a passanger in a car today and the driver got
pulled over. The cop took my license and gave me a ticket
for not wearing my seatbelt. Goodness he was such a
prick! He had this little smile on his face the entire
time. He got three tickets in one pass. One seatbelt
violation for me and one for the driver, as well as a
moving violation for the driver. What a wonderful
Christmas preasent. What a jerk!
Well I guess I wrote myself out for today.