Angel

DayDream Believer
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2002-12-26 17:49:05 (UTC)

He`s gone

Samuel died on Christmas eve, 15.15 on the 24th of Desember
the worldst finest person took his last breath.I was there
with him, not alone of couse, but I was the only one
holding and touching him all the time and crying, the
others just stood like in the back ground, they where sad
to.
It was terible, and I cryed my eyes of thinking things
would never be okey agen, but I guess deep iside I have
been prepared for this a long time, so Im doning fine
afther the circumstances. I sleep a lot during the day and
use sleeping pills at night. To be honest I thought it
would be worse, but I guess thats because I remember hos
bad it was when Selina died, but that was a shock, now I
was prepared. I wanted him to live forever, but he was
really sick and it was probobly the best for him and us to
let him go, watching him in his pain was tourtour.

Our family peace ended last night, it was a terrible thing,
lot of crying and stuff, oh well, what else did I expect?
All this, losing Samuel, my family and the problems in
Tommys family mede me say somthing stupid to Tommy last
night so now he is verry upset with me, I kind of do and
dont understand in the same time. I wanted to fix our
porblems straight away but that didnt go, I`ve said Im
sorry like a houndred time so what else can I do?
Im giving him some time to think and come to me, what ever
happends its for the best, I sure!
Hopefully he`ll call tonight and everything is back to
normal, or else I have to fugure something up.

Im sick, Im tired, sad and have been in a family party all
day, with bouth my grandma`s, aunts, oncles, cousins their
husbonds and children and so on, we were about 40 people,
and now Im working at tha cafe. My plan was so call in
sick even for I was sick, and stay home with family and
Tommy. Then my plan was to say I was working for my family,
call in sick and go to Tommy and solve things out, but then
I figured lets give him some time alone to think and do
something else, well, what else could I do, not stay with
him, and I dont wanna be home, so I went working.


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