Mo

The many thoughts of my mind
2002-12-26 08:15:50 (UTC)

Friends

Well, I have now founds out that I am a horrible friend. I
was asked why I was avoiding someone who used to be very
close to me. I didn't think that I was doing anything
wrong or hurting this person. I never intentionally tried
to avoid them. This person felt as those I didn't want
them as my frind anymore. It used to be that we could talk
about anything and now since coming back things have been
kind of different. It is difficult for me to talk with
anyone, even the ones I kept in touch with on the phone.
It feels as though the relationships I had with people have
changed so much that it's like we have to start all over
again at geting to know each other. I almost regret going
away. If I had known it would be this difficult and
different with friends by going away, I probably wouldn't
have gone. I don't know what to say to my friends about
what I am feeling. It has become hard for me to talk with
anyone because I feel so dumb when talking to them.
Everyone keeps telling me that they are so happy that I am
back and that they missed me so much. I feel the same
way. I missed being here so much it made me sick at times,
I couldn't even eat. The one thing that has hurt a lot
since being back is not being as close to people as
before. I'm not asking that things go back to the way they
used to be, but that things may be a little easier to deal
with. I want so badly for all of these thought to clear my
head so I am not thinking so hard about so many things at
once. why did this have to happen? Am I really a bad
friend? I hope not. I really need a good friend right now.




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