Oh,The Insanity
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2002-12-26 03:49:06 (UTC)

Dorm Shower Fun

1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream
really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of

2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make
sure your clothes get all wet and soapy. Complain when
leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed.

3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.

4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as
Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex
Luther's evil plot, then run full force into the wall.
Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your shower.

5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower
with you. Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really hurts when you
pop one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the
drain for all to see.

6. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss
in into the next stall. Demand that the person in that
stall return it to you, or you will cast a voodoo curse on
them. The next day, hang the chicken from the bathroom
lighting fixtures by a noose and stick numerous pins and
forks in it.

7. Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall
really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks
if you are okay, just say that you had some Mexican Jumping
Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your

8. Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-
goers. When they come in, tell them "not to do it" and ask
them "not to give in to sin." Wail mournfully when they
step into the shower.

9. Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you.
Use the residual water on the floor as your battle medium,
and float little battleships over to their side. If they
kick them back or throw them over the edge, exclaim that
you didn't know they had the power of God and sheepishly
mumble prayers for the duration of your shower.

10. Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the
drainage "ditch." Ask if someone would be so kind as to
return it to you. If no one does, tell them that the finger
has been sacrificed to Satan and that the shower stalls are
now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations and crepe-paper
ghosts from them the next day.

11. Bang your head against the stall wall,
shouting "Redrum! Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.

12. Bring a Yoo-Hoo chocolate milk drink to the shower with
you. Complain about a stomach ache, then moan "Ohhhh, um,
uh-oh," and squirt the Yoo-Hoo down the drain "ditch" for
all to see.

13. Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like you
are charging up a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before you
turn it off, ask Egon to set the trap up for you.

14. Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon
squeak for the duration of your bathing experience. Then
pop it, and fall to the ground as if shot.

15. Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let them
float down the drainage "ditch", complaining angrily about
the quality of water these days.

16. Hang up the names of different farm animals in the
stalls. Have everyone entering the stalls join you in a
rendition of "Old McDonald Had A Farm," making the sound of
the animal in their stall.

17. Turn the stall into a shrine for a pagan god. Call him
Weeshy. Insist that anyone who uses that stall must tithe
to receive his benevolence and glory. If they don't tithe,
avoid them for the rest of your life.

18. Take your shower like normal, and then begin screaming
that the Communists are taking over. Make battle sounds --
including bombs, bazookas, and tanks. Towards the end,
wearily declare victory. Leave wounded.

19. Blow bubbles. Exclaim that you are dissolving.

20. Bring in a bucket, fill it with water, and float a bar
of soap in it. Charge a fee for people to see the Wicked
Witch of the West bathing nude. Threaten anyone who laughs
at you with flying monkeys.

21. Start singing Pavarotti really loud. In the middle,
stop, stutter for a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do
you know what these words REALLY mean?"

22. Suck on the faucet head until you fill up with water.
Complain that the Seven Chinese Brothers get no respect, OR
pretend to be a fountain.

23. Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall.
Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall
lurching, complaining about how dizzy you are.

24. Buy a bunch of those tiny animal-pills that expand into
full, spongy shapes when they get wet. Bring them into the
shower and spill them into the ditch. Ask somebody for your
pills back, and when they hand you little animals, scream,
slap them, and run away.

25. Make your best Psycho noise (reeEENT reeEENT...).

26. Try to get everyone in the other stalls to sing in four-
part harmony with you. If this actually works, change your
voice part every three measures.

27. Become a shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of soap, Oxy
pads, and Q-Tips. Bury them under the tile floor. Fire
cannons at people using toilet balls.

28. Bring scuba gear into the shower with you. Talk to
Cousteau. Upon leaving, tell everyone that the Titanic was
actually torpedoed by the Germans. Be cocky.

29. Hum for a couple of moments, stop, make an "Mmmm!"
sound, and then announce to everyone that the mildew on the
shower walls kind of tastes like head cheese.

30. Coat the floor in a fine layer of quick-drying cement.

31. Hang "Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen Crown"
signs in all the stalls. If anyone asks who Marisa Cevasco
is, call them ignorant and ignore them for the rest of your

32. Bring in Sesame Street bath books. Read them aloud.
Giggle every time Bert walks in on Ernie bathing.

33. Stare at people's feet as they bathe. If they do not
wash their feet, tell them to. If this happens a second
time, steal their shoes and tell them that they left on
strike. If they DO wash their feet and fall down while
doing it, laugh hysterically.

34. Stand outside the shower curtain, raise a harpoon, and
shout "I'm coming for you, Moby!" Run in and do battle with
the faucet-head. Walk out a peg leg.

35. Charge a toll for people wanting to use the shower. If
they complain, light them on fire. THEN they'll pay

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