My Journal...sorta lol
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2002-12-25 23:57:25 (UTC)


This day was tight! I got up at like 7 am to open gifts lol
Every year my mom and dad are like were budgeting so
there's not gunna be a lot of gifts and EVERY year there
are more gifts then the last lol... I got some cool stuff
dude, but the two best gifts were A) these socks!! i got
three pairs, one pair has pooh bear on them, another has
eeyore and the last pair has tigger on it they are the
SHIT! i never thought that I'd be so happy to get socks lol
and B) this gold dipped pink rose... my parents bought it
for me its sooo beautiful and mustve cost a fortune cuz its
like 24K gold that its dipped and covered in i love it to
death! then my uncle gave me 100 bucks to go to the mall
with and im like omg uncle howie moms gunna kill u lol cuz
every year we are like lets just not exchange gifts and
well we always do lol yea so thats that lol i wont continue
on about that hehe
After I got ready and stuff, I went to visit Chris'
grave... this is the third Christmas without him, I miss
him so much... It's gotten easier tho, and i honestly hate
to admit that it has... I dont cry as much about it but
thats probably good, its better then being clinically
depressed for 6 months again... i look back and think of
how bad everything was and how sad i used to be... now it
seems ironic to me cuz i seem like such a happy person, and
lately i have been happy... losing my best friend was the
worst thing that ever happened to me... but it changed me a
lot, I learned a lot about love, friendship and faith...
and it makes me a better person for it. I never knew i
could hold the capacity to love someone so much but u dont
know it until u lose it.... i figure someone u love could
be gone tomorrow so, tell them u love them today and
cherish every second of life like its the last... thats my
biggest regret in life, the last time i saw him i felt like
something was wrong... everything was going in slow motion
and i remember every single word he said, every look he
made and every thing that happened... he said to me "youre
so quiet, what happened? u used to be wild and crazy like
me..." and all i did was chuckle... when inside my head i
was thinking "its becuz im in love with u idiot!" lol i
think i loved him from the second i met him when i was 6
years old but just didnt know it lol well he knows how i
feel now... and Im ok... and it feels good to say it...
anywho! well nm else to say... hope everyones having a good


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