self destruction introduction
milk always goes sour and sugar always turns to shit
I tripped with two of my friends on saturday night it was
great. I had so much fun. but then all of a sudden things
just changed. I guess I always come down pretty hard but
yesterday I felt like I was losing my mind. It's so
difficult to articulate. I feel as if I have been acting a
certain way, I've been trying to lock away all the anger
and hatered I have inside and be good and patient and nice
but behaving like that has let others to take pychic
advantage of me. And now I'm pissed off.
Things with Steph are ok. average. I saw her yesterday all
sometimes I felt happy and pleased with her and being close
to her and other moments I wanted to growl at her and push
her away from me. I guess when I see her today I'll be
able to assess my situation.
I know it's just the chemicals. I know things will be
better tomorrow and even better the next day..but I don't
want to forget this clarity. I'm tired of being good. I'm
sick of playing roles for people who are incompetent and
too frightened to see the truth.