xLiLAznTaLLBoix

Rantingz n Ramblingz of a 14 yr old boi
2002-12-25 10:35:59 (UTC)

All I Want 4 Christmas...

Iz sum time alone wit U... da courage 4 me 2 say
everythin... dat i been meaning 2 say... i want courage...
as i have none... i want u... jus becuz... dere iz 2 many
reasonz... shit... im scarin maiself...

Alrite. Let me take a step back real quick. We, as
humans, alwayz try to reach out n grab wut we don't have.
I'm not talkin bout dat... lol u guyz have nasty mindz!!! =
( haha jp. Yea well anywayz, iz it just becuz I cant talk 2
u rite now, that makez me wanna be wit u so much??? Or iz
it jus mai emotionz, da stupid emotionz dat r so strong dey
take over me!!!??? Sumtimez dese iz good... But worry iz
among those feelingz/emotionz... Mai greatest fear is the
fear of regret, that something I do may backfire on me.
And I know I've talked bout this before, but it really
botherz me. I don't wanna fuck up... but that fear keepz
me frum doing anything right as well. I don't want U 2
feel sorry 4 me or anything... I'm jus complaining. Don't
mind me. But mai emotionz iz almost completely in
control... and mai fearz iz even more in control. LET ME
FACE MAI FEARZ!!! Even thou I may try physically, or
verbaly, or wutever, I still have problemz mentally.
Shit... I WANT SUM FUCKIN COURAGE!!! And the only way iz 2
face mai fearz, huh??? =( I want 2... jus so I kan fuckin
get past dis big obstacle in da road. But it aint as easy
as it soundz... 4 me.




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