My Heart and Soul....
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2002-12-25 04:07:21 (UTC)

Merry Chirstmas

Wow...is it Christmas already. I can't believe this. I
seriously do not know where the last year went! It's kinda
sad. I really miss Dave. I knew this would happen. I knew
it would be hard. We went to get out our Christmas
decrations, and in the box was the angel tree topper that he
gave my mom last year. That killed me. I had forgotton all
about it. It was like a kick in the stomach, cause all of a
sudden my emotions where just flying, and something inside
me was like "He was here last year for this, he was taking
part in it." And tonite....Tj, who we all know my history
with, was at my Dads for Christmas Dinner, and he had his
new girlfriend with him. I totally like her, she's a doll,
but it was hard, cause last Christmas I was with David...I
miss him. I was telling my friends. He was the only guy that
was more than my boyfriend. I mean of course, you have a
friendship with your partner, but he was the only guy who
was my best friend. I was closer to him than I was to any
other perosn in my life. I miss that more than anything. I
could talk to him about anything, and he did the same with
me. We'd spend hours just lying on the couch, or walking
through the woods talking about EVERYTHING. Wow...thats so
terribly sad. Let's all get depressed for Christmas now.

hahaha...ok....but it's not all bad. I did get to spend the
night hanging out with Amber, Char, Danni and Court. Wasn't
exacty the old time crew, but it was fun just the same. We
staying up until like 5am talking, and laughing...LOL
BONDING! that was great.

Guy scene: you know I don't even know anymore. I'm looking
around, but I just can't find what I want. Well...I mean I
kinda found what I want, but I don't exactly know how to go
about getting it. I just want to be happy with him, and not
have OTHER WOMEN interfering. For once in my life, I just
want to meet a guy that is perfect for me, and be happy with
him. Saturday night I was at a party with some friends I
haven't seen in a while, and we got really drunk, and
started talking about Drew. I ended up getting really upset,
and pissed off, just because the whole subject hits a nerve
with me. It seems like every time I turn around anymore,
someone in my family is asking me about him. HELLO...we
broke up 2 years ago, can we all PLEASE move on.

Holy cow....not exactly a bright cherry entry is it?

Well...to liven up spirits a little bit, I went to Church on
Sunday. I think we decided it was probably the first time in
a year. I'll warn you, I'm going to get a little gushy. I
forgot how much it meant to me, and how great it felt to
just be in a Church, and to pray with the congregation, and
feel so in tune with God. It was great. I really miss that.
I guess I've been taking my faith for granted recently, and
I think a definite goal for the new year is to get more in
touch with my spiritual side, and maintain that contact
throughout the year. :-)

ok...I'm going to go wrap presents. I love you all, and
Merry Christmas!!!!